Monthly Archive for August, 2011

Recently I had heard of someone who was moving on from their current place of employment to somewhere new. And I knew that this person had been experiencing some massive growth and stretch, and I also was aware that perhaps they weren’t aware of just how much they had grown, as they had experienced such a lot of uncertainty in the process. 

I was reflecting on this with a friend and we agreed that it is often the experience of the learner that they remain unaware of just how much they have grown, how much has actually been absorbed into their unconscious mind. The only way they may be able to measure just how much they have grown is when they find themselves in a moment in time when all that learning flows naturally from them effortlessly and easily. Often it is only then that they are taken by surprise, and consciously become aware of just how much they have mastered.

And the moral to this is to keep persisting, to keep learning, with the faith that our unconscious mind is absorbing and adjusting, until such time as it forms a natural part of who we are being. And my friend explained to me that in martial arts it is valued that the student learns each technique and practices this technique with consistency. Students are warned against the belief that as there is so much to learn, they should only learn it generally and attempt to learn it as quickly as possible. Instead they are encouraged to learn each technique separately and then once mastered, being able to blend together and have dance their overall martial arts craft, so it flows. And the more they practice with intent, the more their learning is absorbed until it becomes a natural part of their craft.

And I know from my own experience, sometimes when I am in discussion with a client, I am a little surprised about the depth of knowledge that flows so easily and effortlessly from me, and it is only when I reflect back on how I applied my learning that I yet again appreciate how powerful my unconscious mind is. 

Our unconscious mind is so powerful and it doesn’t discriminate.

 If we don’t believe, our unconscious mind will listen.

If we do believe, our unconscious mind will listen.

When we train to be a coach, we must make sure we give ourselves the gift of learning and patience, of persistence and consistency, with the trust that the more we flow the more our unconscious mind shifts and changes to accept our learnings.

There are plenty of ways in which we can work through this. It keeps coming back to the same thing, learn the learning, and apply the learning, in order to grow. And be okay with the experience that you may not know just how far you have grown, because you are so immersed in what you are doing. Go with the flow and TRUST. Keep ticking off your goals, setting new ones, and working towards your ultimate life purpose. Check in and remind yourself that it is part of the process, and that you are learning every day. You will do it, you will get clear on the results that you want to achieve so you can develop your own level of mastery and make that difference for others. Our community on Facebook inspire each other to persist and grow. Check us out… Kate Welk

Between you and every goal that you wish to achieve, there is a series of obstacles and the bigger the goal, the bigger the obstacles. Your decision to be, have and do something out of the ordinary entails facing difficulties and challenges that are out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else.
– Brian Tracy

Do you remember when you were young? Do you remember back to those times when you were really young and you had some kind of phobia about a ‘boogeyman?’ That dark character that scared you witless, that you were so frightened of you would jump out of bed over towards the door, for fear if you put your foot down it would be grabbed by that scary monster that lurked in the dark beneath your bed?

When I asked this question around The Coaching Institute I heard some fascinating experiences. My childhood scary thing was a character from a series that was on TV all those years ago, and I was utterly convinced that he was in my wardrobe and would ‘get me’. He was only there at night, never during the day. I can’t remember how young I was. I only know it was pretty early in my life and for awhile there it frightened me…yet I have no idea where this fear originated…and the good news is that this fear disappeared and I now see wardrobes as full of promise…and new clothes.  

Now, not all characters were scary. Some were simply a connection that served part of a ritual. One story I heard was where one child was convinced that Bert and Ernie lived down the drainpipe and this child would make sure that they said good night to them both, before they went to bed. And they accepted in their mind that when the drainpipe was removed, Bert and Ernie had moved away to somewhere else and life just went on. Funny huh?

I’ve heard so many scary stories of unknown monsters who appeared mysteriously once the light was turned off, and as a result the young child was petrified of moving. Pulling the covers up right over their head until it was too stuffy and they had to come up for air. Eventually they would fall asleep and wake up in the morning, where once again the monster had disappeared.

Another one that was fascinating was someone who shared a story about their childhood experience of having a bath, and the water rushing down the drain hole and making a loud gurgling sound. This child was told that they would be sucked down the hole along with the water if they went anywhere near the drain. So, with fear and trepidation, they would grimly hold on tight to the other end of the bath, as the plug was removed, and experience a feeling of relief when their mum picked them up and enveloped them in a warm fluffy towel, and all was well with the world again.

And these stories got me thinking.  Those childhood monsters have disappeared so I thought “what has taken their place?” What monsters do we have in our lives as adults that we are so convinced are real, yet they only appear when our lights are out and we’re in the dark?

When our world as we know it becomes filled with the unknown, because we are unable to see what is around us.

And it clicked…yup! That old friend Fear! Fear of the unknown, of what we cannot see…whether that fear is our future or some limiting belief within ourselves. And we are so convinced it is real….

And since this realisation I’ve decided that as I am training to be a coach and working in my business, this is one analogy that I am going to use with my clients. When I’m working with them on their fear I’m going to take them back to their childhood, to the time when they had their ‘monster’ that paralysed them with fear, and ask them ‘where is that monster now?’ And when they tell me that while they thought it was real at the time they now know it wasn’t real, it was made up. And then I’m going to ask “and now?”

What makes this fear, this ‘monster’ that lurks around you and paralyses you into overwhelm, into procrastination, why has this now become fact?

And you and I know what the answer is. When we realise that yet again we’ve created a made up monster that it isn’t real, and we’ve thought about it for so long that we now know it as fact.

And then once we realise this we can stop jumping out of the bed across to the door in fear of the monster underneath, it’s time to stop putting the covers over our head to the point we can no longer breathe the stuffy air, and instead we can confidently know that what is around us when the lights are out isn’t scary. It’s full of possibility, of whatever we choose to focus on.

And we can be confident that while we may not yet see what is around us, when it is dark, that it’s all okay and eventually the lights will be turned on again….

Share your childhood monster stories with us on Facebook…I’d love to hear them.

Enjoy! Kate Welk

I’ve learnt a new word! How apt it is in professional life coaching. It’s Perturbation. One definition of Perturbation is ‘something that causes disruption, trouble, or disorder’…To put this into perspective recently I had a conversation with someone who was experiencing overwhelm in response to the possibility that their life might change from what it was, to…the unknown. And that unknown was full of possibility…loads of possibility. The possibility to change their life to one of purpose and freedom. And they had all the resources….

Their response to this? They ran an old familiar pattern that had served them so they could avoid having to experience this disruption to their old patterns (their ‘perturbation’) and instead they retreated back to a ‘safe’ place in order to avoid working through this disruption because the result was unknown.

Well, at least they ran the pattern temporarily until I caught up with them again and we had a chat. During that discussion they expressed frustration with themselves because they knew they were running the pattern and no, they knew it was no longer serving them…it was holding them back.

Appearances can be deceiving can’t they?  Running the strategy of ‘keeping safe’ when it no longer serves us is painful; we don’t necessarily experience this pain immediately. It’s later on when we are once again back in our cave and once there, our calm sets in and it is then that we experience disappointment, guilt, the same old same old…until yet again, our merry go round cranks back up and off we re-emerge from our cave.  

In professional life coaching we serve our clients by holding the line, by holding them accountable and at the same time assist them to recognise that this pattern is not moving them forward towards their goals. And we serve them by guiding them to move from ripe and rotting to green and growing, and guide them to create resourceful ways to meet their needs, and in turn achieve their goals and dreams.

And how do we know what that’s about? Because most likely we’ve done it too! We’ve run those old patterns until we finally got the message. It’s when we choose the new path of change rather than retreat that our courage assists us to step through the fear.

I love this word Perturbation… the time when we go through change (aka disturbance and disruption) and I connected with the theory that if we push through we will never be the same again. Just like the caterpillar that turns into a butterfly it will never go back to its original form or shape…It simply cannot go back after it changes. To grow into an adult butterflies go through 4 stages: egg, larva, pupa and adult – and there is no return.

So how does this apply to us? When we draw on our courage and move through our fear, we stretch and grow into a new version of ourselves and then everything shifts accordingly. We will never go back to where we were…we simply won’t. Because once we’ve conquered that old pattern, it’s change forever, because we have opened up to even more.

Now, you and I are the only ones that can change our pattern…no one else can do it for us. No one else can make the change for us, it’s up to us. And the more we grow and stretch the more we can offer to our clients. What about it? Why not make the commitment today to change your pattern? And embrace Perturbation!  Kate Welk

Don’t forget to check us out on Facebook. Tell us about your Perturbation experience!

“The main cause of failure is the inability to deal with self-doubt”. Bill Bartmann

It is one of my favourite times of the year and I never get complacent about the learning that this time of year can teach us. Over the past few weeks I’ve noticed there is a distinct awakening going on, a re-birth of all things in nature as we move towards Spring 2011 in our part of the world. It serves to remind me of what I had put aside during the colder time of the year and it is time for refocus.  

This time of the year is the time we can once again wonder at how each aspect of nature simply ‘knows’ that it is time to emerge and grow. Signs we notice each day as we walk past flowering plants, drawing our attention to their unique scent, the call of birds as they move about with renewed vigour and energy, while preparing to bring young into the world. I always wonder at how unique this world is that we live in.

And it also serves to remind me that nature doesn’t go to class to learn how to move through the seasons. This just happens. There is no manual that says ‘do this first, then that and you will grow when the time is right, and you will shed old growth when the time is right’. Nature isn’t seeking certainty, it is simply inherent to all things in nature that this season occurs when it does. And it is only when the time is right that the growth and birth occurs. If the conditions aren’t right then it doesn’t happen, and when the conditions are right it does….

What has that got to do with training to be a coach? Well, that’s up to you. It can mean everything or nothing. You can choose to resist that the time is right or you can go with it. I choose it to be my main lesson in living each day and accepting that I am moving forward and when conditions are right for me I achieve what I achieve. I don’t resist…I learn…and grow, I observe, I model, I flow. I also choose to believe that I will have seasons in my life and each Spring will move into Summer when the conditions are right, and I will celebrate great achievements during that time, and then I know that Autumn will also come again when it is time for me to shed old and outdated thinking, shed what is no longer serving me and then move into my Winter when I will work on myself and my business with the knowledge that once again when the conditions are right, around will come my Spring, my time of new growth, learning and achievement.

And I can share that with my clients if this is connects with them and when they are ready they will hear it. These lessons from nature are in abundance if you simply choose to stop for one moment and listen, watch, and wonder. Know with certainty that the conditions you choose are what progresses you or holds you back, that your mindset progresses you or holds you back. It’s all choice, all of it. And you don’t need a manual for that; you don’t need to wait to have it all perfect. Just as the acorn grows into a tree when it is right, so you have all the resources inside you to be the best version of you that you choose to grow into. Go with the seasons, go with the progress. When the conditions are right, take that opportunity and move forward…you will never know how far you can go until you go there… and beyond. I’m off to smell some flowers…enjoy! Kate Welk

Spring into Facebook with us, share your favourite time of the year!

I was thinking about how our world became what it is today. Just think about it. It was only a few years ago that facebook was invented yet some years later we can immediately connect with others across the other side of the world in a few heartbeats, and have live conversations with others in our community.  And for our ancestors this same connection could have taken days, weeks and even years to be achieved. Isn’t it simply amazing how much we have learnt and now achieve what was once thought to be impossible?

And the conclusion that I came to was this. The reason that we have had so many achievements, inventions and discoveries is because of the few who could be called the pioneers of our world. And we’ve known them over the centuries. Those men and women who against all odds, had a dream, a vision, a belief, a driving force that there was a better way, and a better way right now.

And these seekers of ‘truth’ usually did so at the risk of being ridiculed, being scoffed at, being told it was impossible, it could never happen. Yet these pioneers that have gone before us did indeed pave the way for us.

And it is highly likely there was an element of fear and risk about that path they took, blended with a massive amount of faith in themselves. Invariably there was probably challenges on the way, sometimes when even their best resolve took more strength and courage than they ever thought they had inside them.

And sometimes they succeeded and sometimes they didn’t. Yet what they did, and continue to do, is to inspire the rest of us. And when I think of what they have accomplished and left as a legacy I know my mindset is, ‘if you can do it then so can I’.

Today I give thanks to those that dreamed the big dreams, who stepped forward into potential failure, who led the way so that people like you and I could progress and learn from the mistakes that those pioneers made, and we can learn from their lessons so that you and I don’t need to repeat them.

Thank you to the dreamers, the visionaries, the stubborn, the eccentrics….because you inspire us to be okay with uncertainty, you inspire us to be resourceful in the way we embrace our challenges, teaching us how to reframe the meaning we give our experiences, encouraging us to allow the creative and innovative spirit that is inside us to step forward and blossom, so that we too may one day leave a legacy for those that come after us. In the world of professional life coaching we, too, can inspire those we connect with to dream big, be inspired and leave their own legacy.

Check out our inspirational community on Facebook…and share with us your dream that you intend to turn into reality. Kate Welk

“This nation was built by men who took risks – pioneers who were not afraid of the wilderness, business men who were not afraid of failure, scientists who were not afraid of the truth, thinkers who were not afraid of progress, dreamers who were not afraid of action”.  ~Brooks Atkinson