Monthly Archive for October, 2011

I had an absolutely awesome conversation with one of our gorgeous students yesterday. It was inspiring. He told me about having one more chance to live his life. He had the chance to now choose a life with passion and purpose rather than regret. You see he’d had a very serious accident, basically his heart stopped three times and he very nearly didn’t make it. The result of his experience…both the accident itself and the aftermath of recovery and rehabilitation including further temporary setbacks…were enough for him to know that it was now or never. It was his time and he got the message…do it now…stop waiting. And that naturally got me thinking about how much this has now changed him and how his story can serve to inspire the rest of us to use this moment we have right now to live our life the way we want to rather than the way we think others would approve of.

And then I asked myself…life has given all of us this chance and it’s now or never…am I giving my all as I take on my professional life coaching journey? How can I learn from this beautiful person that I had the opportunity to have a 10 minute chat with and use the lessons to make a difference? For me, all these kinds of moments occur in my life for a reason. It’s up to me whether I choose to listen and learn or choose to ignore.

One of the books I’m reading at the moment is by Brendon Burchard and his message is very similar. He’d also had a profound moment in his life and as a result he took on this same belief and decision. He believed that as a result of that moment in time when he nearly lost his life he was given one more chance to make a difference. He calls it “Life’s Golden Ticket”. He suggests the purpose of this ticket is that each of us is born with a “free pass to a life of your own choosing… that we are given the gift of free will and second chances”. What we do with this chance is up to us.

The wish I have for you today is that you won’t have to wait until a critical moment in time to make that decision. That you don’t need a ‘second chance’. That you will decide today is a good day to take hold of your ‘life ticket’ and make that difference. Today is a good day to know that you were born into choice and this is your moment. For those of you who are waiting to decide whether this moment is right, who tell yourself ‘not yet’, that tell yourself you are not good enough, for you I make this wish that you now realize you are ready and that you are good enough. Your professional life coaching journey train is ready at the station…time to get on board!

I want to leave you with an extract from Brendon’s ticket – the terms and conditions of using this ticket to choose your own life path. I know so many individuals that have already made this decision and the rewards are huge. And I want to say a special thank you to David who inspired this message today.

“…Life’s golden ticket is now in your hands. And now is your moment of truth. You can either stand still and live in yesterday or you can step through the gates of possibility into the life you were truly meant to live. The only price of admission is to release any anger, hurt, worry, or resentment tied to your old story and to have the clarity and strength to start anew. You can make new choices. You can live more fully. You can love more completely. You can make a greater difference. Every moment is a second chance to unleash and claim the life of purpose and contribution that is your destiny…” Brendon Burchard.

Do you know someone’s whose had a second chance to live their life the way they always wanted? What about your own story? I’d love you to share this with us on Facebook today. Have fun on this fabulous Thursday. Kate Welk

Simply by the fact that you are reading this, I know you are wondering what on earth does ‘raining clichés’ mean in coaching. It started like this. Curiosity got the better of me when I was reading the NLP Workbook by Joseph O’Connor over the weekend, and he refers to the metaphors we use in everyday language – also known as clichés. And I got a bee in my bonnet about it…so I started researching. Now let’s cut to the chase. When we become a life coach, the more we can use metaphors, have our words flow melodiously and be music to the ears of our clients, the more we will know that our client will go on the road less travelled and discover the pathway to success.

Okay, okay there’s a few clichés in that paragraph I know! (You have no idea how long it took to put that together!) The point is there is so much value in building up your knowledge and skills by using metaphors in your everyday language. The purpose being that you can use language that will have its own meaning for your client; you don’t need to fill in the detail. Joseph O’Connor describes the benefits of metaphors as “…particularly good at conveying multiple meanings or ambiguous meanings. A good metaphor can be worth a thousand words and several pictures…Metaphor takes you beyond one meaning and opens your mind to many possible meanings”. So your client creates the meaning they want from your words and the more ambiguous your language the better.

When I started researching metaphors, specifically clichés, it blew me away just how many were out there, that we potentially use every day. If you pulled apart the metaphoric language we’re using it really doesn’t make specific sense, yet when you communicate your cliché the listener will create the meaning they want. The master of hypnotic language, Milton Erickson, was able to communicate with a client’s unconscious mind through the use of metaphors, to not only connect with the client, his language also held the key to resolve their challenges through accessing their unconscious resources.  And what a great way to connect with your clients, seeing them as whole and complete, and having already made the change. Perception is projection, wouldn’t you agree? The more that we know our clients have already made the change, the more they will.

When seeking to learn to be the maestro of your musical language, believe me the examples are everywhere, aren’t they? It goes without saying that with this knowledge comes responsibility to use these techniques with integrity. When we become a life coach, our aim is to master our craft and in so doing we can truly make the difference for others in a positive and empowering way. I’d love to hear the tips you have in learning to master the art of metaphors. Please share these with us on Facebook, so we can all learn.  I carry around cards with prompts on them and intentionally focus on improving my use of language each day. It’s a technique that Sharon Pearson shared at our recent NLP Practitioner training. What’s your strategy for learning?

Now, to close off, I set myself a challenge. I’ve found a website that has a huge number of cliché examples on it, and the sentence below is constructed using them. Why not set yourself the challenge of identifying all of them? Have some fun creating your own. And remember when you are immersed in any learning see how the time flies.

It was a bolt from the blue that I discovered it was raining cats and dogs. I turned to him and said “you are barking up the wrong tree if you think I’m going out in that!’. He made a gesture as if I had bats in my belfry and said “you are becoming very run of the mill. A rolling stone gathers no moss so let’s get out there”. Then he smiled lovingly and held my face, gazed into my eyes and told me to keep my chin up. I brightened up and suggested we kick up our heels and have some fun indoors instead. When I reminded him that he was my knight in shining armour he melted completely and became putty in my hands.

“Metaphors have a way of holding the most truth in the least space” – Orson Scott Card

I look back on the past few days knowing that there are a number of lives now that have been changed forever. As a student, each time we have a new learning in any area, I love the way that the community of The Coaching Institute immediately pays it forward. In any stage of our professional life coaching journey paying it forward is key to giving of ourselves simply because we can. We have the skills and knowledge and just as we have learnt from others along the way, so we too can pay it forward. Giving of yourself without any attachment to having it paid back, allows us the freedom to simply be able to make a difference for others and share what we have learnt.

I am so delighted and impressed with the momentum of the students who are joining in our Facebook community. Sharing stories of how they have paid it forward and the absolute and genuine delight they are experiencing by the results their client are achieving is evidence for all of us that there are such a large number of people in our world who deserve better. Who deserve to recognise they can be anything they want to be, that their dreams and hopes when they were younger can come true, it’s like unlocking their heart, coming back to their core passion and truth of who they can become. And in a lot of ways I see this as an absolute must that you and I have a responsibility to share what we learn, model the change anyone can become, and without any expectations pay this forward back into our community. It’s called generosity.

One of the recent examples that I love, as I know others do, is the brilliant spelling strategy we learnt at our recent NLP Practitioner training. Watching how rapidly a person can move from the belief that they ‘can’t spell’ to knowing with certainty they can spell and take on this belief by having a more effective way of learning. Think of this. As more teachers learn this technique, as students have confidence that they can spell, this opens up a whole new world of possibility for them.

Imagine the sliding doors scenario for a moment…In one life here we have a young child who struggles to learn spelling, works so hard to learn and keep up with the rest of the class, yet never seems to remember words. Eventually their self esteem is eroded and they take on strategies to cope with this perceived inadequacy. And they are perceived by others as a slow learner. How many times have you heard that? What happens in that young person’s life as they move into adult hood? Often they go through life believing that they would never amount to much, that continuous education is beyond their grasp, and that they resign themselves to a world of parking their dreams and settling for something else, something that is empty and passionless. Sometimes they take on a defensive strategy, protecting what they fear most about themselves and in turn they potentially then pass this learned behaviour onto their own children.

And now look through the other sliding door, a door where one of our fabulous generous students has just taught a young student (or their teacher) a more effective way to teach spelling strategies, and all of a sudden the students have a new belief in themselves and the feeling of pride they have that they are as good as anyone else and their world of possibility has just opened. All of a sudden they have more choices; their future is brighter and more positive, because someone took the time to pay it forward. It is yet another way in which professional life coaching demonstrates how important it is for us to learn and grow, so that we can develop our own level of mastery and make that difference for others when we pay it forward.

“The value of a man resides in what he gives and not in what he is capable of receiving” Albert Einstein.

Have you shared your experience on paying it forward or have you received the same from someone else? Tell us on Facebook today. Enjoy your Thursday. Kate Welk

It is Monday and Dorothy has clicked her red shoes three times and returned home to Kansas, ready to step back into our world, knowing that all the resources she requires are available in abundance, as she moves forward in her professional life coaching journey. In fact, the resources have always been there, she just needed to travel the yellow brick road to realise that.

Okay, now translate that into the 8^th day after our 7 day NLP Practitioner training program through The Coaching Institute. And as I reflect back I know that it has been the most unbelievable journey of learnings, all the learnings that have been experienced, in so many ways, by our incredibly inspiring and magnificent group of NLP Practitioners. Saying yes and giving it a go was the theme of the 7 days. It is now our time to step forward with expanded awareness and take action. Take action to change and grow in our own lives, assist our clients in their transformation and pay it forward by getting into the community and paying it forward by sharing what we know with others, so that they too can learn just how incredible life can be when they know what is possible…and anything is possible you know, don’t you? Knowing that everyone is magnificent is a truly beautiful way to see the world and feeling the ripple effect of that is beyond measure.

I know that you are wondering how much influence and impact we can have, as qualified NLP Practitioners, in this world. And it is up to each of us to decide to take on this challenge now or later, and you would agree wouldn’t you, that if you know how someone’s life can be far more powerful and positive than what their current reality is indicating, it is our role to encourage and inspire others to take action and we can show them how it is done. When we model what is possible, it will also allow others to do the same. When we grow, we give others permission to do the same.

I met so many beautiful, generous people at our training, all with a story to tell on what led them into that room. And it was such a gift and privilege to be part of that experience. And I know, as we all know on some level, that the NLP Practitioner students were all meant to be together at that time, to encourage and support their colleagues in taking on the learnings, giving the exercises a go, assisting each other realise and recognise that when we see ourselves and others as whole and complete, as completely magnificent, that change is already occurring and anything we strive for can be achieved. Wow!

I know that we will look at this professional life coaching journey we are on, and that this moment in time will remain profound for each of us. This was possible, not just because we believed that we can learn and grow, it was also because of the mastery and generosity of the amazing and extraordinary Sharon Pearson and Alice Haemmerle and the support of our most unbelievable crew who gave so much of their time to be with us, encourage us and be there when we needed their assistance. To you all we say thank you for what you brought to us…

There is no doubt that The Coaching Institute community is a unique experience to be had and today is a day of giving gratitude for being part of that community and being on a mission.

I’d love to hear from you on when you last truly stretched and grew as a result of taking action. Join us on Facebook and share your experience.

Here’s to a week of possibility! Kate Welk

Today I just wanted to share a quote with you:

“I know there are infinite ways of looking at things, and I open myself to exploring and learning from different points of view.”

Part of becoming a great life coach is to open your mind and to challenge yourself in dealing with your own challenges in a more resourceful way.

Think of a challenge you might be facing in your life right now.  Is there a solution or a different approach that you haven’t considered before?”

Ask yourself: “If there was another way, what would it be? If there was an even easier way, what would it be?”  Let us know on Facebook!

Camille Thurnerr

 The next time you visit us at the Coaching Instiutute in South Melbourne, I highly recommend you visit the well known ice cream shop down the road, Jocks. They have the most delicious flavours of ice cream ever.

Going there really brings out the inner girl in me and even though I’m usually quick in
making decisions, it takes even me a little while to make my final choice.

Will I go for strawberry & cream, hazelnut praline or passion fruit sorbet?

 So.. If you were ice cream, what flavour would you be? Are you loud and confident as chocolate or rich and decadent like caramel swirl? Are you exotic and sophisticated like pistachio..? Or fruity with a twist like campari orange sorbet?

My point being, know your flavour, know what makes you YOU.

Don’t pretend to be vanilla when you really are complex & interesting like rocky road.

To be a life coach and to have a successful coaching business, you’ll need to stand out from the crowd. You need to have an opinion. If you don’t know what is different about you, think about what people come and see you when they need advice. What are you passionate about? What values do you stand for as a coach? What gets you fired up? What is your coaching style?

 You need to back up your flavour, whatever it is. If you are chocolate, BE chocolate. Not only BE chocolate, but share your flavour. Share what you’re good at with the world and be proud of being who you are!

So once you know what your message is, share it. You could get started by creating your own facebook fanpage. Put yourself out there and do talks at your local library. Do whatever it takes so people will know who you are and know what makes you YOU. 

In a nutshell:

1. Know your flavour (Know what makes you YOU)

2. Back your flavour  (Stand out and have an opinion)

3. Share your flavour  (Share your gifts with the world & be generous)

So, what flavour ARE you??

Note:  The brilliant Kate Welk is attending the powerful NLP training this week, so this article
was shared by Camille Thurnherr from studentsupport.

The next time you visit us at the Coaching Institute in South Melbourne, check out the well known ice cream shop down the road; Jocks.

Picture this…here I am, having a chat with the beloved other half last night about the up and coming NLP Practitioner training. And I was talking about the great experiences to be had just by being in the room with such a fantastic group of inspiring and beautiful students, exceptional Master trainers and a generous and giving crew. And he asked me a great question. Now, it’s not that he doesn’t ask great questions, it’s just that the question he did ask demonstrated to me how much he’d grown in himself since I decided that coaching for life was now my way forward back in 2010, that there was no going back, that this was it.

So what was this question? I know you’ll agree it was great, once I share the reasoning behind it. He asked me what price I would put on the value of being in the room at NLP…as a student and then later on volunteering for crewing. And it took me a bit by surprise. Because in the early days when I’d made the commitment to be a student of The Coaching Institute my husband’s priority was more around the cost of the program, not so much the value of it. Now I accept that the cost of something also has its place however it did lead to some debates in the early days because the cost was one of his top priorities at that time.

And there is a distinction between the cost and value of something. Here he was asking me a question that I couldn’t actually answer because I don’t believe I can put a cost to that experience, yet it was the purpose of the question that I loved. He truly understood and appreciated that what we are fortunate to be part of here, in this generous and like-minded community, is beyond the price you put on any program. And I loved that he appreciated that as much as I did.

And, naturally, that has me contemplating where else in the past I have focussed on the cost of something as opposed to the value of it. Where else have I looked down at my toes focussing only on what the cost is in terms of dollars, compared to looking up, towards the horizon, and truly seeing just how much value there is in something, that extends far beyond how many dollars it will cost me.

So, what’s the difference between cost and value? Well in my world value is something that simply cannot truly be measured. It’s personal and relevant to you. It has the potential to have a long term emotional connection, a memory that lasts a lifetime, a learning that takes you beyond anything you ever imagined and therefore whatever the initial price has been, the value you have had from that is beyond measure.

For example our wedding day was very special, as are all weddings. One thing that we cannot put a price on is the photo we now have of my siblings and parents. I come from a large family and it was not that unusual for one sibling to absent from a family event. However on this day we were all together, all of us. That in itself was valuable.  And after the ceremony my siblings and I, along with our parents got together and a photo was taken. And it is so priceless because this can never ever be duplicated. Not just because it’s a challenge to get us all together it’s also because our beautiful Dad passed away after that and now that photo is treasured by all of us, as the last time we were all together. And I know that none of us could put a price on the value of this photo, ever. It is beyond measure.

So, the point of sharing this today is this. When my husband asked me that question I was happy that I couldn’t answer it, and certainly happy that he also knew that the value of the experience I will have being in the room with all those other students learning our NLP will be beyond the measure of any price. And having the opportunity to pay it forward later in the year is something that I will also explore, with my husband’s support. Because he too has grown in knowing that we cannot put a price on these kinds of experiences. Who would have known when I made the decision to take on coaching for life, just how much value I have had and will continue to have from this program? What I’ve had returned to me in terms of learning, experience and friendships has gone far beyond what the initial price of the program was. And I know at the end of the 7 days training I’m about to undertake will take me beyond any measure and it will be priceless.

So, think back over your life and acknowledge those special moments in time when what you have experienced is beyond measure, that it is priceless and is valued by you forever. And feel free to share with us on Facebook as I’d love to know how you see value. Thank you for your ongoing contribution to our community! Enjoy your day. Kate Welk

Today is a day when I am going to immerse myself into a world of fantasy just for a moment. Where I can imagine what it’s like to wake up after I’ve played in the elite AFL (or NRL) grand final for 2011 and in one world my team have won the premiership and in the other world my team have lost. Kind of like sliding doors I now walk in parallel universes to experience who I am being in both worlds. Just as I took on my journey of coaching for life, the victories and setbacks that I have on that journey are not really what matters – it’s who I am being in each moment that shapes my future and what I learn about how far I can go that is important.

I slide through one door where as the victor I have immense pride in what I have done to contribute to this achievement. My feeling of elation has me believing that I am unstoppable. I am part of something that now fills the history books.  I am now part of something that feels almost surreal.  All my preparation over the past 12 months has shaped me for this moment and all my setbacks, my physical and mental challenges, my determination to keep going no matter what is going on around me, have shaped me into the person I have become and all that has paid off. It has been so worth all of that. In fact those moments of pain that I have experienced throughout the year now pale into insignificance because the immense positive emotion that flows through me now keeps me connected to my core and for once I want to hang onto it because it feels great.  

Yet at the same time I know, while it’s great to celebrate and acknowledge that what we’ve achieved has been worth the effort of preparation, a little voice in the back of my head asks me ‘what’s next?’ Part of me wants to put off that voice because I am feeling so good in this moment, yet I know that sometime soon it’s important to move forward, to step up even more because now I’ve grown I don’t want to go back and simply rest on what I’ve just achieved. I don’t want to stay there, I want to experience that winning feeling again and to do so, I must stretch and grow even more now, otherwise I know that I won’t move forward, I’ll stay where I am.

And now as I step into the other sliding door, where I have finished the game and I am stunned. I cannot believe we’ve lost. Yes, part of me can convince myself that they were better than us on the day yet I know that my inner voice is quietly whispering to me that I took it for granted that we would do well, that we were just as good as the opposition and at some stage during this game I was playing, I took my foot off the pedal and didn’t play at 100%. And why? Perhaps I didn’t remember just how much effort it was going to take me to win because I’d forgotten how painful it might become as part of the process. Perhaps because my earlier victories were a little easier I didn’t realise that I would be pushed just that much more, and in that moment I didn’t step up as much as I could have.

So, in that parellel world I now have a choice. I can dwell on feeling sorry for myself. That would be easy to do. I can listen to those around me that tell me ‘bad luck’ and pat my shoulder in sympathy. Or I can look at who I was being both in my preparation leading up to the game, and who I was being in the game. Was I on 100% focus? Was I taking my foot off the accelerator because I believed I’d already done all I needed to do? Whatever my reflection is, I am determined to make it worthwhile. I want to remember just what it was like to stand there and watch someone else step up to the Podium and soak up the crowd applause. I want to remember that feeling that it should have been me and it wasn’t. That’s the fact. And then I can decide what I am now going to do so that next time it is me and I can appreciate what this moment is teaching me about myself and what I can do next time.

There is no doubt that taking on coaching for life as part of my purpose is going to have moments of victory, of celebration and also of challenge. It’s my consistency in these moments that will keep me progressing. I want my experience to be worthwhile and I want to know that each moment in time is a gift. A gift of learning and a gift of achieving. And each moment shapes me for who I am and where I am going, no matter where I am on my path.

As I step back into the world of now, I want to remind all of us of the experiences that lies ahead for us is all up to us individually. It’s up to us to decide the path we take and which doors of opportunity we open along the way. It’s up to us to decide when we’re going to put in the preparation, when we’re going to play at it 100% and when we’re not.

I think Anthony Robbins says it best.  I leave this with you now as you step into this next week knowing that you are ready for whatever lies ahead, you just need to take the first step and keep moving forward.

“I believe life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and life’s greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never-ending commitment to act until they achieve. This level of resolve can move mountains, but it must be constant and consistent. As simplistic as this may sound, it is still the common denominator separating those who live their dreams from those who live in regret”. A Robbins. 

When have you stepped up, 100% focussed, and it’s paid off? I’d love to hear from you. Connect with us on Facebook and tell me more! Enjoy your week. Kate Welk