Monthly Archive for November, 2011

Ever noticed how someone who has negative thinking talks more about what they don’t want rather than what they do want? And when you ask the question ‘what do you want instead?’ they struggle to answer? Often they will revert back to what they don’t want, because this habit is so ingrained in their thinking. Interesting isn’t it? Throughout your professional life coaching journey you will be guiding and teaching those you connect with on how to step into the world of ‘want’, and leave behind the world of ‘don’t want’.

And another thing that I’ve noticed. I have a friend who has worked with another person over the past few months who my friend tells me is incredibly negative. It’s his line supervisor and my friend’s experience of this supervisor is that he only sees the negative in situations and people. There is apparently nothing positive that occurs.  He talks of what he predicts will happen in a way that is powerless and inevitable. (Not something that I would relish that’s for certain).  And the influence on my normally positive friend is astounding. They are consciously aware that the negative talk is unhealthy and they acknowledge that they choose to allow that to influence their experience of their working day. They are aware of how it can infiltrate their mindset yet when we had a specific conversation about the significance this has on my friend there were a few ‘aha’ moments that arose. And it surprised my friend just how much he had allowed this to influence his thinking and really limited his ability to focus on what is positive in his life. It was like this had become an unconscious well worn way of thinking and it was time to scratch the old record and start something new and fresh.

When we began the conversation my friend started to give me a myriad of examples of how negative their supervisor is, and how his wishing bad things to occur in fact resulted in exactly that – bad things occurring to him (funny about that!). It was like the beginning of a destructive tidal wave and it had to stop and boy was it was painful to listen to. And this is where it really gets interesting. Recently he’d had an opportunity to work in a different environment for a week or so and the people he now worked with were a breath of fresh air, as they were positive and happy people who enjoyed their work and each other’s company. And he loved it.

What was interesting was when I started to ask my friend details of the positive experiences he had with these positive people. And in the beginning all he could tell me was what he wasn’t experiencing because he was no longer working with his negative supervisor. I was really curious about this so I persisted in asking him about what he liked about this current situation rather than what he no longer experienced from being away from his supervisor. And it was interesting to observe. Because he truly struggled to think of positive examples. In fact our conversation haltered somewhat. While I could see this new situation was enjoyable for him he was unable to clearly articulate why. And he surprised himself with this.

So we explored what was going on. What well worn path of negative thinking and experiences he had developed for himself because of the situations he was in and how this was now his habit. He amazed himself that he was more willing to focus on negative situations rather than positive, because this is what he’d developed as his pattern of thinking.

It was an interesting experience for me as well, as it served to remind me that in my professional life coaching journey I am going to meet these situations as well, and that my awareness of how this can impact my world is the difference between experiencing a positive powerful world of opportunity and a negative disempowering world of limitation. My ability to constantly have my radar switched on and be able to decipher what is going on around me moment by moment will allow me to protect myself from negative thinking influences and also to assist my clients create patterns of thinking that are going to serve them for their future. So my friend and I ended up researching some quotes that he was armed with when he next encountered negative thinking. And we came up with this one below, which he is now diligently practising! Now, that is putting a smile on his face!

“If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want”  Oscar Wilde

Check us out on facebook and share any experience you’ve had where you’ve recognised that a negative experience had an impact on you that you then changed around to something positive.

It’s interesting, isn’t it, how we view our choices in life? I was with a client yesterday and during our conversation she demonstrated to me how she is now far more empowered in the meaning she gives experiences in her life. She has developed positive, resourceful and creative ways in which she now responds to the events she experiences. And this has resulted in her having a far more enjoyable life whereas in the past she would have been caught up in negative self talk and felt a victim of circumstance, powerless because she believed she had no choice. And this is a reminder to all of us that to teach others how choosing creative and positive responses to events can change our lives completely, we first need to learn and consistently do this for ourselves. Coaching for life is first learning what we need to learn so we can master and teach it to others, and pay it forward.

We are all creative to some extent or another. When we were children our creativity flowed easily and effortlessly. In fact in our early years we are encouraged to be as creative as we can be. I remember how much I loved drawing and painting, writing stories and poetry, singing and acting. I loved being on stage and performing. In fact I was in ‘seventh heaven’ if there is such a place. A total state of bliss. So my ability to be creative and inspired flowed easily and I was at my happiest when I had creative choices. I even remember one of my final exams in year 12 being so much fun (yes it was!) because I was able to simply flow and create an essay based on a simple picture I was provided and an opening line. And away I went. I loved it because my ability to be unique in my creativity was totally in my hands and that was a beautiful inspiration for me.  I also remember one of my brothers drawing some giraffes playing football when he was about 6 years old and it was so creative the rest of us loved that Mum proudly displayed this colourful drawing on our fridge. Even some 30 odd years later it is still talked about as a highlight of our childhood memories.

So what happens to us as we grow up into adulthood? Our source of creativity is still there, our ability to make choices in life is still there, yet somehow along the way we have potentially blocked it off completely. I know I did. The good news is now I’ve rediscovered it in spades! And I am excited because my positive choice of creativity is reawakened which has given me so much more energy and I am experiencing more opportunity and fun. And this has definitely had the ripple effect on my family.

In our field of work our ability to guide our clients in transforming their lives is also about awakening that creative choice in them again and having them flowing lightly and effortlessly through life, experiencing connection and passion to what it is they seek. This is where the power is. And creative choice can be experienced in all areas of our lives. From the more obvious choices such as the fine arts (music, writing, drama and painting etc) to the less obvious ones such as how we bring up our family, how we run our business and how innovatively we solve our business challenges, growing and nurturing plants, taking care of animals, healing, design, physical fitness…the list is absolutely endless. It is up to us to teach our clients that on some level we have made a decision to block our creative energy and by blocking it our unconscious desire to be creative emerges in a negative way. Sometimes this blockage is manifested in the physical through an illness or sometimes it’s through an unhealthy addiction we have developed and our behaviour in meeting our creativity becomes this chronic self destruction. In these cases we have made a decision to block our creativity and as such block the choices that are available to us in how we experience life.

When we live our principles of coaching for life, we take on the responsibility to be the aspirational version of being the change we want to see in the world and no matter how much in the past the blockage of creative choice has been destructive to our energy, awakening the ability to expand our choices expands our ability to experience a positive life and all it has to offer. Empowering ourselves to live this life of creative choice opens the doorway for our clients to experience the same. If you haven’t already done so, then start today. It’s always the right time. You are unique and so is your creative choice. Enjoy your week and all it has to offer. Kate Welk

PS – Join us on Facebook today and share how you immerse yourself in creativity. We’d love to hear it.

This week’s been buzzing at The Coaching Institute, more so than ever. We’re excited to have the fabulous Alice Haemmerle in the house creating absolute magic with our NLP Master Practitioner students who are jumping right into their first week of their learning journey, with open hearts and minds, creating quantum leaps of change. And we know that their experiences keep expanding every day and it’s a sight that we always love to see. You can see how each student’s experience is taking them into a new level of awareness. We were having a chat about this amongst the team and we decided that it really comes down to this. When you take on training here you can either be happy with training to be a coach or you can decide that training to be a Master is where your focus lies. We can either be pretty good at what we do, or we can continually strive to become an even better version of ourselves than we were yesterday. As always, the choice is ours.

And sometimes there are those who make that decision to continue to learn and grow without really knowing where this is taking them. They just know that it’s going to be great. And then there are those that decide they’ve done enough learning and it’s time to stop. Like a rubber band, when you learn something new you are stretched beyond where you have previously been yet at some point the band is going to bounce back to its (almost) original shape, unless you continue to strive for a higher level of mastery.

And so it is with those in the NLP Master Practitioner room. A number of these students have only just finished their NLP Practitioner training last month and already they know that the way in which their rocket is going to take off beyond the pull of gravity and into space, is to create more fuel for the initial take off. And their fuel is NLP Master Practitioner.

I had the great privilege of chatting to one of our students from the room yesterday. It was so joyful to see her face. Her eyes were incredibly bright and I knew from observing her that she was already moving into a new space that she had never experienced before. And it was such a great opportunity to be able to hear her story.

Deborah Brown first joined The Coaching Institute back in 2008 when she enrolled as a Diploma student. Since then she has been a Life Long member of our community as she relates to the values and beliefs that we share and she loves this connection.   She first experienced NLP when she completed her Practitioner training as part of her Diploma program back in 2009. And she shared how even just deciding to do that training totally changed her relationship with her children and totally transformed her life. After that NLP experience she knew that if she focussed on what she wanted she would achieve it so she set her focus on where she was working and decided which position she wanted and set to work on achieving this. Using the principle what you focus on is what you get, she got her ideal role as a Distribution Business Consultant for a multinational global company. And she said that before NLP she had limiting beliefs around this achievement so it was again evidence to Deborah that by focussing on what she wants she can achieve it. And during her employment she nurtured some of her skills in NLP and now in 2011 here she is in the room with other NLP Master Practitioner students. She knew that the difference between training to be a coach and training to be a master was first set in motion when the decision she made back when she did her NLP Practitioner training to sign up for NLP Master Practitioner training was going to be the key to taking her life to a whole new level of mastery. And seeing Deborah’s face light up as she enthusiastically shared her experience of being in the room with Alice was again evidence to me that in order to get your rocket ship of change off the ground NLP Master Practitioner training is the additional fuel to do so. Deborah told me that the difference between the two levels of training is NLP Practitioner is your grounding for change and NLP Master Practitioner takes you there. And Deborah believes “if you don’t have, you can’t give”. And in summary she shared “my experience so far has been amazing, profound and it’s only day 4!” Thank you for sharing Deborah.

I’d also like to welcome our students completing their Advanced Skills training with us commencing today. The house will be rocking and rolling with all this learning!! Have a fantastic Friday and please share your experience with the learning you have had since joining The Coaching Institute. Join in the chat today on Facebook.

Enjoy! Kate Welk

“It’s simply the best thing since school was invented” stated some enthusiastic school students as they heard the announcement that the decision has been made to include professional life coaching principles into the core school curriculum. The world has finally realised that teaching our children (and ourselves) about positive life skills makes sense! Knowing how to be resourceful in meeting your six core needs, how to set goals in a way that achieves results, being empowered and accountable for your own actions, that making mistakes are the best way to learn and there is no class segregation – all students can spell. Schools across the land are celebrating today with this revolutionary news.

Ahhh…imagine this world. You rock up to school in the early days ready to learn. You are a learning machine. School is fun because your parents have brought you up to be this empowered individual who is learning about how to meet their needs resourcefully. From the time you were born to the age of 7 you have learned about transitioning through your six core needs. Maybe these needs have a funky cool name and its fun to learn about how you choose to behave and the meaning you are giving your experiences is starting to shape you. That it is normal to create goals as if you already have already achieved them. That if something doesn’t work out there is enthusiastic discussion about other options to try. That there is no failure only feedback.

Your parents see you as this beautiful whole and complete person. And so do you. You know that the world is full of opportunity for you. That you will experience life and learn your purpose. No one is telling you what you should do…in fact they are giving you support and guidance around what you want to do rather than what they want you to. Dreams are encouraged, not squashed. You are already deciding who to model to create the change you want in your life. Modelling is one of the first classes you attend on a Monday morning and you are eager to share what you learned through your playwork over the weekend.  

As you move through your school years you learn there are no limitations and you know that you create your own beliefs and your own reality. That perception is projection. You are being the results you are getting. And if you don’t like that then you change it. And your school is special. They believe in professional life coaching so much that each of the teachers has coaching experience. The teachers support you to be clear on what your values are and whether they are serving you and nurturing you. You embrace challenges eagerly because you love to challenge yourself on how many possibilities there are. Quantum is your mantra. You know how to move from head to heart, and truly connect with your heart space and experience emotional connection. That your purpose is beyond you. The old way of saying strengths and weaknesses is no longer prevalent. It’s now strengths and stretches.  You know what drives you to take risks, to seek love and connection, to know what certainty and safety is and you dance between all your core needs resourcefully. You know how to anchor positive states and you strive to move from being a winner to a hero to a legend. 

You understand that stress is a lack of certainty and its fear and anger combined. You recognise the patterns of human behaviour and how you create your own reality. That your map of the world is unique to you. You know that as you move into adult hood and have children of your own you have a model of how you are moving into parenthood. You now see your own children as the magnificent whole and complete people they are. You have a vision that is beyond your own world. And you are confident that who you are being is creating a great model for your own children as they grow and learn and experience what life has to offer. And it’s all about the journey. Life is full of surprise and you welcome it…embrace it with the knowing that you’ll be fine. And you will. 

What is your vision for the change you want to see? Share with us on Facebook today. Enjoy this fabulous Wednesday and set an intention that moves you forward. Kate Welk

I was so much into masculine energy in the earlier days I had no idea how much energy was being spent unnecessarily in some situations. I truly didn’t know. I was this ‘miss independent’ who wouldn’t allow anyone else to do things for me, that I was ‘fine’ to do it all myself. And I now know it had to do with my choosing a default behaviour most likely with the purpose of believing that I was protecting myself from vulnerability.  And in reality I wasn’t. When you train to be a coach these are the most magnificent gifts of information that are shared with us, as students of The Coaching Institute, that we can pass on to our clients.

Masculine energy consists of being the action taker, results driven, tell me the facts, sets goals and achieves targets, never ever vulnerable, and asks themselves ‘what will I win”? The masculine energy is also incredibly grounded and can be considered very blunt as they are focussed and have vision and purpose. The benefit of masculine energy is being able to step up, back yourself and run your business.

And when you have this learning you can then choose more easily when to step into your masculine or feminine energy. My own story was one of being single for an extended period of time, deliberately so. And I was fierce about it. I now realise that I thought I was protecting my heart from hurt, when in fact all I was doing was creating more layers that became such a painful burden to carry around. I didn’t want to be vulnerable however I didn’t realise that vulnerability was about letting go of the need to be right, that in this feminine energy there is no need to have all the answers and that it is okay to seek support, that this is the natural path to healing. I thought that to be strong I had to be ferociously independent yet the true strength is in the gentle vulnerability of feminine energy.

Being in feminine energy is allowing yourself to step into your own light, to be able to make mistakes, to be 100% for your clients and give your all. To serve so that you can make that difference for others. You will know when you are in your feminine energy because your heart is open, you come from the servant’s heart and your approach is about everybody, not you. It is important to you that what you do is for the community, for the greater good and it’s all about connection. Being grounded in feminine energy means that it’s okay to be that way…to create the nest, to nurture, to show love, to show feelings. Even as I write that I can feel how much softer that feels, how much more fluid, how much easier my energy flows as I type those words.

As women and men, to truly master the energy that you choose, it is important to understand when to dance between them both. In my personal life I can allow my husband to be the Warrior, to be the man and I can allow him to be my protector, when I come home because I allow myself to feel safe. (And he steps into this role so well!)

So, as I further my studies and train to be a coach I know that what I am creating is freedom for me to flow easily and effortlessly through both energy types, to call on the strengths of each one in any moment I choose. And to know that I can model this for my clients is how this can make all the difference in all areas of our lives. And that’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it?

What are your awakenings of being feminine or masculine? Why not share with us on Facebook. I wish each of you a lovely weekend, whatever you choose.  Kate Welk