I find the middle of the year an opportunity to reflect, redefine and reset my goals for the year. It’s the gift I give myself. I assess how I’m travelling. I reflect on where I’ve been. I get very clear on where I’m heading.
And sometimes I realise I’m heading in the wrong direction and have to self-correct.
I had (as always) the year’s goals laid out ahead of me. They’re documented. They’re communicated (where appropriate). They’re clear in my mind.
Then something happens that makes the goals look… what was I thinking?
This year was exactly like that.
There is a professional relationship I thought I could always count on. I don’t know why. There was no evidence that I could count on it. I had just assumed.
That was my first mistake.
My second mistake was building a goal around something I could not control and influence.
My third mistake (yes, they’re mounting up) was to assume the relationship would cope with some strain.
So I arrived near the middle of the year. What I’d counted on, was… wrong. The decisions I’d made until then were based on some very poor thinking on my part.
What’s a girl to do?
I could get down on myself. I could get down on them. I could complain. I could worry.
Instead (and I’m not saying this because this is what I always do – there are times I do respond poorly!), I saw the opportunity to represented.
In only three days the goals had been redefined and reset to take into account not just the changed relationship, but also to make the most of the opportunity it could represent, if only we saw through the disappointment.
I’ve done exactly that. It’s been a liberating, exhilarating and amazing time of self-realisation.
I had been compromising myself for this relationship. I had been hiding my true self to keep things on an ‘even keel’. I had suppressed my natural style for their way. None of that was ever going to last. (Yes, what was I thinking!)
But what’s even better is that by realizing this, and walking away, I can already feel my natural energy and certainty returning. It’s like a cloud has lifted (cliché, I know). It’s as if the world has returned to normal focus, instead of the muddy focus I’d been viewing it through and hadn’t even realised.
What could have been seen as only lose has actually become… freedom.
There is already even more of a buzz about the place as we quickly adjust to the change. It’s more than that, though. It’s like we’re really discovering who we are, rather than who we were according to how others defined us.
I’m not sure about the direction we’re heading completely. I do know it’s within our control. I do know it means we are now setting our own sails and that no one else can set them for us.
The relationship is nine years old. I’ve been in business for 11 years. That’s a long time to be involved. The ‘breakup’ should perhaps have been more challenging. But I think we broke up a while ago, and just didn’t know it.
So now, with our goals redefined, we are spring boarding into the new opportunity this represents to us all at TCI. We’re spring boarding towards a different future than what we thought we had planned.
We don’t know if it’s better. We do know it’s different. And we do know it’s up to us.
Sometimes the midyear delivers more than expected. Sometimes it gives us the gift of the ‘reset’. And sometimes it gives us the opportunity to let go.