By Sharon Pearson, CEO, The Coaching Institute
I've coached hundreds of people and spoken to thousands more at speaking engagements and so many of them share the same thing - they have no goals, beyond 'being happy'.
Being happy isn't a goal - it's a mindset that comes about because of decisions anyone can make. It doesn't have to be illusive. When coaching there are steps I guide my clients to take so that they can experience more happiness more often in their lives.
Happiness isn't chance, there is a science to its achievement.
At the heart of happiness is love. The best is the love for someone else, as this moves your focus from yourself, which causes self-consciousness and thus self-doubt. We feel more positive when we love someone, which gives us optimism. Optimism provides us with power over painful events.
Happiness comes about when we have choice. Everyone has the freedom to choose; unhappy people don't know this or they choose not to believe it. The truth is, freedom is available whoever chooses to use it.
Happy people participate in their own destiny and make their own happiness. They don't wish, wait or hope that it comes along. They don't accept the role of the passive victim, but choose to be the active hero in their own life.
Happy people know that nothing truly lasts forever. Not money, approval, or even life. Security isn't measured in a bank account or a calendar, but through feeling secure about who they are and what they stand for. Security for them is an inside job.
Health and happiness are interdependent. The most important part of your health is your mood chemistry. You could be happy and not know it if you have an imbalance in the levels of serotonin and dopamine.
Happy people are willing to go beyond the limits or boundaries of their own lives. Their fear isn't death, it's not living a full life.
Think about the unhappy people you know and notice how self involved they tend to be. Happy people focus on others, not just themselves. They know that this focus feels great, and gives them purpose.
Unhappy people tend to have a black and white view of life. It either is or it isn't, there's no grey, so it's easy for them to be disappointed. Happy people see the grey, aren't scared of it, and they keep sight of life's bigger picture when there are problems.
When we laugh or choose to take ourselves lightly we feel lighter, and our troubles seem further away and less serious. Humour and lightness lifts suffering from the heart to a place of empowerment, the only place where there is the power to heal it.
Happy people know why they are here and are doing what they know they are meant to do.
We cannot experience fear and appreciation at the same time. Happy people spend time appreciating and being grateful for what is in their lives, who is in their lives and what they are experiencing.
Extracted from M-POWER - the ten steps to an extraordinary life, by Sharon Pearson, CEO of The Coaching Institute.