I first started my journey with TCI back in January of 2010, bright eyed and bushy tailed 19 year old. I remember as if it were yesterday that I was the youngest person to come through TCI and even that I had a chat with Shaz on the phone for that reason before I was accepted. I know that today that “record” has long since been surpassed!
Wind the clock back a year and I was working at a school as an IT Technician and stuck in an office dealing with tedious IT problems. Whilst I loved solving problems for people (and still do) it wasn’t on the same calibre as I wanted. I wanted to connected and solve meaningful problems… a life of meaning!!
And I found exactly that in coaching, there was absolutely untold possibilities to what I could achieve and that vision spurred me on and on. Just like most coaches starting out, my main motivation for becoming a coach was my own self development and success and whilst I have achieved that in incredible leaps and bounds, that was my first challenge to overcome…
From the get go I was told to get over myself and focus on other and to be frank with you I never fully got that. When SP said “Take care of others’ dreams and yours will be taken care of” I didn’t pay attention, in fact I didn’t pay attention to most of what TCI told me… Instead I went in with the attitude of “I can do it all by myself, it’ll happen for me” waiting for success to come an slap me in the face. For 4 years I did this behaviour! 4 YEARS! Always focusing on myself and making it all about me and my crap, and just so I could make sure I could continue to do that, I procrastinated, pleased and perfected planned everything before I executed everything.
Fast forward to after those 4 years and I have had enough! (as you can imagine). Something had to give and I finally did (and not just to myself). I reconnected with ICG Masters Academy on 5th Feb 2014 and allowed myself 90 days to the 5th of the 5th to get my first paying client or I would forget about it all and go get any old job…. For me to do that I had a very humbling moment of realising that I had been making it all about me and selfishly acting like others didn’t have the same challenges I was going through (something to laugh at now). I decided to bury my egomaniacal self and do two things. 1. Ask for Help 2. Focus on others and only focus on self when I’m alone.
The result was creating huge amounts of connection and doing everything I could to serve. I saw myself as pretty good at knowing how NOT to do it from those 4 years and i started with sharing that. Buddy/Accountability Calls, Be a client to other coaches (I get growth out of that one too), give advice, Refer clients and coaches to each other. Anything that I had to give, I gave it without reserve! It’s not about me and it’s not even about you, ultimately it’s about us.
The consequences of doing that were amazing!! Within a week I had 5 pro-bonos, 4 buddies and 3 coaches of my own plus about 30 more people that I was conversing with and championing on a more casual basis. Week in week out i never stopped giving and learning as much as I could (yes, I had lapses and break but quickly kicked back into gear), building relationships, letting people know what I can do (and my niche) and being an active part of the TCI community.
35 days in from re-ignition and I had my first Curious to Committed session and closed my very first paying client with my top package! A referral from a ROCKSTAR pro-bono of mine. I now have 10 pro-bonos (getting this hours up), 7 of which are in my niche and I continue to build up The Purpose of Man that works with 18-40 year old men to live their full potential as a man! For any man who has “lost his balls” and in need to “MAN UP”, I’m with him to reclaim his life and stop being the little boy. Relationships/ Sex, Career/ Money and Confidence/ Power are the main name of the game as we move from "Macho Meathead” or “Sensitive Wimp” to a “Strong Loving and Interdependent Man!”
With the engine now running, it’s time to pick up speed and I am on track to confirm another 9 paying clients this month of April (the last 30 of these 90 days). Bigger than that, it’s about creating a life where I get to live it how I want without apologies or permission and to have a fucking good time doing it!
My success has been built on my mistakes! They are a natural and necessary part of life and trying to avoid all mistakes is just another one that we need to make at some point. Getting it right by getting it wrong over and over! Chasing after an outcome as if it were a silver bullet destination will only lead you to experiencing the very thing you fear to. Exploration of all the possibilities is the solution to all momentary problems.
I also realised that two things above all else are needed to sustain a business, sales and people to sell to! Everything else is secondary. So I made sure I got good at Marketing and Sales and Building Relationships, both achieved by focusing on others!! Is freaking easy to get over your crap when you focus on others, it’s even easier to ask for help and to follow the structure. Helping others will always reflect back in helping yourself!!
…I finally get what SP said those years ago “Take care of others dreams and yours will be taken care of”.