11 Lies New Life Coaches Tell Themselves (and How to Overcome Them)

Let’s face it – being a coach is hard

As a new coach, you absorb so many new techniques, a new mindset, and a whole new approach to life.

As coaches, we get to practise what we preach. It’s immensely important to “be the change” before you offer the gift of coaching to your clients.

The mind is a wonderful thing. It’s also a big liar when it comes to our “true beliefs”.

It holds the capacity to convince you to think thoughts that aren’t necessarily true. Form negative opinions about things that matter. And worst of all, lie to you.

Has this ever happened to you?

You’re lying wide-awake at night, staring at the ceiling, wondering why things aren’t going the way you’d like them to? Perhaps it’s the dilemma of finding a consistent flow of new clients. Or setting up your business and IT systems.

Whatever it is, you’ll agree that the nagging mind doesn’t make it any better.

Almost everyone goes through these motions. Here is what goes on in the minds of new coaches (and what to do about it):

Unhappy Woman

  1. I can’t do it: Think about how a baby learns to walk. It falls, gets up and falls again. Each time, the baby laughs and doesn’t take “falling” so seriously. So your mind telling you, you can’t do it? That’s a big fat lie. Because if a baby can, you can too.
    Woman wearing a watch
  2. I don’t have the time: Yeah, so does the President of United States. There is no going around this. You make time for things that matter to you. So if you cannot find time for your new coaching business, sourcing leads, writing that blog post, perhaps it isn’t that important to you. If it is important, then “not having the time” gets reduced to a mere excuse. Right?
  3. I don’t have the skills: Of course you do! And the fact that you’re reading this blog says volumes about your aspiration to develop more skills. As a coach, you have ALL the necessary tools in your arsenal. The question is how you use them.
    Unhappy Teen
  4. I will finish this later: But guess what? The “later” never comes. And even if it does, why should later be more disciplined than now? You’re far less likely because you’re already giving in to procrastination. Later is going to be much harder so instead, why not do it now? Make that call now; write that email now; finish that knowledge paper – you guessed it – now!
    Lady Thinking
  5. It’s too hard: Of course it is. But know what? All amazing things are worth it. That’s what makes them amazing in the first place. I agree, life is supposed to be easy and enjoyable. But to expect it to be like that all the time is lazy behaviour. As a coach, you know better, right?


  1. I should quit: It seems quitting is easier. But in the long run, when you look back at your life, you will realise how close you were to your real breakthrough. Michael Jordan attributes his success to his massive failures. The man got up again every time he was knocked down. Successful people aren’t the ones who never fail; they are people who never quit.
    Unhappy employee
  2. They are better than me:  There will always be someone who is better than you . . . at something. Does that make one more “superior” than the other? Not necessarily. Make a list of your unique strengths – find out your own 'Unique Selling Proposition'. Only you can play “you” in this world in the best possible way.
    Man Thinking
  3. They won’t approve of me:  One of the greatest freedoms is simply not waiting for approval. Because someone else’s approval is just another opinion. Don’t let their opinion become your reality. And sometimes, you need that first hand experience to grasp reality on your own. Imagine if Steve Jobs had been waited for approval – we would be missing the experience of one of the best products in the world.
    Unhappy Teen
  4. I am not good enough: Your mind wrestles with stuff that doesn’t remotely matter. We have a tendency to blow up the tiniest of flaws. And sometimes they aren’t even real flaws. “Why didn’t she wave at me? Maybe she doesn’t like me!” How about she is dealing with her own issues and simply missed noticing you? The easiest way to come out of the “I’m not good enough” rut is to think back to the last time you met a deadline, helped a client achieve something cool or converted a lead. There you go – feels good right?
    Confused Lady
  5. I don’t know how to ___: Insert new task in the blank space. Get a website up; write a blog post; create a landing page; make that call to a prospect … But guess what? You don’t have to know everything. Find someone who does and either get them to do it for you (you can use websites like Fancy Hands or Fiverr for that), or learn how to do it from them. Another great technique is to convert “I don’t know how to…” into “How can I get it done…”
    Older Confused Woman
  6. Its too late to start:  We have coaches from all walks of life, all ages reinventing their lives. Age doesn’t matter. It doesn’t count if you are 20 or 60, if your heart’s still beating, you still have ample time. If 93-year old J.D. Sexton can get her high school diploma, surely it can't be too late?

Don’t buy everything your mind tells you. Don’t take it too seriously, because a majority of the time, it likes to play a smooth liar. Life’s too short to wait any longer, so make a promise, get up and go do it. Sooner or later, your mind will come around.

And if you need more assistance to break through the barriers, we’re here to help! You can start by grabbing your free “Getting Started as a Life Coach” Gift Pack Valued At $197. You get an audio CD “What you can achieve with The Coaching Institute”, a coaching starter pack describing the sorts of people who make great coaches, a DVD conversation with a master coach and more.

Get your free pack here.

Matt Lavars

The Coaching Institute