I could now see how I was trying to help or "fix" my wife and children, just like my parents and their parents before, and so on.
But the message my family were hearing was that they were broken, not good enough for me, I was shaming them and holding them back with no idea I was doing it.
The smile on my wife's face is one I will never forget...
This lead to me taking my wife out for lunch with the intention of being kind and caring towards her. I sat there and listened to my wife for a very long time, resisting the urge to help with the problems she was sharing. It was so hard and felt wrong to sit there and just say things like "that sounds really hard for you" with out offering any help.
But the smile on my wife's face (as opposed to the argument we would normally have) is one I will never forget.
As I was writing this, where were a few times I just sat and cried, as opposed to just getting on with it.
I'm really grateful for all of your guidance. It still feels weird, but well worth it!