Yes, so it's knowing that they've got options. They've got choices. And that there are no obstacles, and if there are obstacles, knowing how to overcome them, how to jump over them, perhaps see different avenues, different ways of dealing with things.
I imagine the journey has been phenomenal?
Absolutely, I've just grown so much as a person and it's also trickled to my family and kids, and it's been amazing.
Even the conversations we're having are different. But then hearing my daughter and son also, and what the conversations they're having with their family, or their friends and boyfriends and so forth, it's there, the change is there.
And so when you say change, what do you mean?
Yes, so it's knowing that they've got options.
They've got choices.
And that there are no obstacles, and if there are obstacles, knowing how to overcome them, how to jump over them, perhaps see different avenues, different ways of dealing with things.
My daughter's just finished year twelve...
And just hearing her, the way she has been and the way she's dealing with year twelve in that, "I've given it my best shot", and she's also advising her friends, how to see things differently, with more choice and not less.
“It's following my energy. I want to be around people who give me that feeling as well, so we share the same values. And I find that in this environment...”
What was life like before you joined? What's the contrast?
Yeah, absolutely. Huge contrast. Two years ago, going back, a lot of self-doubt.
Self-blame, even.
Yeah, so, self-doubt I think more so, so everything that was happening, it was- I was bringing it back to me.
It was what have I done? Should I have done that differently? Oh it's my fault. Had I done it that way, or had I thought or said something-
It was exhausting.
And thinking back now, I was seeing it in my kids too.
So now, moving forward, and being two years down the track, there's a huge change for all of us. And knowing how to- if someone says no, it's cool, it's their choice.
If it's no, it's no, or if there's a rejection, it's not me
So, how would have a no or maybe someone not approving of you, how would that have gone in the past?
I would have stopped. I would have stopped right there.
I would have said it's not for me, I'm not right for it, I can't do it. I'm not business minded, I don't know how to do it.
I have to say, I have learned so much-
Oh my god, yes. And all these different platforms that I can now go and create.
I've created my own website Matt.
And it goes to a landing page.
All this great stuff happens.
So how do you handle a challenge now?
I don't look at it as a challenge, though. So that word itself, is not really- it doesn't sit comfortable with me any more.
So it's not necessarily a challenge, I think it's an opportunity.
Yeah, everything that comes our way, okay, well what can I do with that.
So, for example, even when I contact customers or clients and so forth and there's that push, there's a reason for that.
That resistance, there's a reason for it, and so it's about looking deeper into it, and what can I do with it, to help that person. To add value. And to give them the options and the choices too.
So there are no challenges. No, there are opportunities.
It's like a weight has been taken off.
"Yes, so it's knowing that they've got options. They've got choices. And that there are no obstacles, and if there are obstacles, knowing how to overcome them, how to jump over them, perhaps see different avenues, different ways of dealing with things...”
How has your relationship with you improved? Because that's the underlying thing that's creating all this change?
I so love me. I truly do. I think I rock. I do.
I love me, I do, I love just- I thought I loved me and I thought that I was confident, and people used to say I'm inspirational, but I know it now-
And I see it, yeah. And when I talk with people, I see the difference in me, and the difference in them more importantly.
So, it's about looking beyond, I think.
When we think about all those negative things, it stops us from growing as people but the beauty is it's definitely not a cocky situation, it's not a cocky thing.
It's helping others. It's giving others the opportunity and them to see that they can also do things for themselves and grow.
What has helped me also is being in this environment. Because you know that saying, the first five people you're with or ... I can't remember it off the- but you know where I'm going with this...
I found that's helped me, and I've then been able to not necessarily remove the people that make-
It's following my energy. I want to be around people who give me that feeling as well, so we share the same-
And I find that in this environment.
What does this mean for you and your family?
Oh it means so many things. There's so many opportunities moving forward in the future.
We've got plans together to firstly grow our business, because it is our business collectively as a family.
So when we do something, even my daughter says "mum, what are we doing with our business?"
Because she's a part of it too, and so is my husband, and so is- so, moving forward, my plan in five years time is to own a consultancy where I can help people all the time, and have five staff.
ABOUT ALEX
Alex, before her journey, had a large amount of self-doubt and self-blame. Now she is seeing challenges as opportunities, building a business and a website for it and is becoming closer with her family.
Journey to Self Love and Self Trust