I’ve Reconnected with Who I Am

I've reconnected with who I am and what I want to do separate from my family. I've always been good at maintaining interest and hobbies outside of being a mother but when I decided to pursue coaching a year ago, it was actually the end of that questioning...

Kim Harris
Kim HarrisAccredited Professional Coach

Kim, thank you so much for allowing us to interview you. It's an absolute pleasure to have you here. So how long have you been with us for?

Just over a year. Every single time I ask this question I just ... you guys are around all the time. Like Facebook and just in every single training, to me it feels so much longer

So where are you applying coaching at the moment?

I guess mostly on myself and my children indirectly. I think the last training I did we learned about roles.  And I went home told my kids that, you know, people play roles and they use these masks to hide their true self.

I've got eight children so, number one is 21 and the youngest is six. The brilliant position I'm in as a mother and a coach is that I'm seeing this functional map playing out in my children every day and then ... so when we learn something like that, the roles ... going home and saying to my kids “you don't have to play any roles” but the fun part is them all picking each other up on their roles now.

So when my eldest 21 year old son is doing the joker thing, my 10 year old daughter will say to him “Steve, you don't have to play that role, what's really going on there” you know.

"Inside of all of that is coming to that full circle of I can forgive myself as well and love myself and accept that I was doing the best I could, that I had at the time and now I know better so I can do better, and so that's I guess the most immediate way of being..."

Kim Harris
Kim HarrisAccredited Professional Coach

That is just the best thing ever.

Its really fun. Like it's actually fun because kids are still playful. They're bringing that childlike curiosity to it. She's not telling him off, it's just like hey, “You don't have to do that, lets just be us”. What a gift that I get to do, not only do I get to be part of that, I get to give my kids the gift of the education that's going to help them support their natural part of who they are to keep intact.

What does it mean to you to be able to just play that position?

What's really cool as a mother doing a coaching course like this is that as Mom, you start to learn all the things that we learn here and we do feel very guilty. You see all the things that you've done wrong, all the ways that you've damaged your child's self esteem or all the ways that you've taken choice away.

So there's this moment where you're just going “Oh my God, I can't believe I've been doing this” and the exciting side of that, flipping over is going “Oh I can actually do something like that”.

It's must be quite a mixed bag of emotions to be able to be like “that's the way it has been, I'm now going to educate my kids in a different way”

That's right, and inside of all of that is coming to that full circle of I can forgive myself as well and love myself and accept that I was doing the best I could, that I had at the time and now I know better so I can do better, and so that's I guess the most immediate way of being.

It is huge and it's so much fun. One of my daughters, 10 years old, have been very angry, you know, and we were talking about autonomy and her right to say no or her right to have her feelings and someone was sort of saying don't be angry and I'm like just let her be angry.

I always let them know it's okay to be angry and we still love you, it's alright, and just let me help you express it... little things, big things, it's fine.

"Because you may be a mother, you might be listening to this right now, or a father, but you are so much more than that and sometimes you need to be in an environment that supports you being so much more than that..."

Kim Harris
Kim HarrisAccredited Professional Coach

What would you say to a mom who is maybe you three years ago? Before this education, before knowing about everything that you know about coaching.

About three years ago, I found myself in that place where I really lost a sense of who I was because I had become so sold and so focused on making sure the kids were alright, and the family was alright, and I was doing everything that I felt that I should be doing as a mother.

So it started this journey of going ... just reconnecting with who I am and what I want to do separate from my family, and I've always been good at maintaining interest and hobbies outside of being a mother but when I decided to pursue coaching a year ago, it was actually the end of that questioning.

It actually did take me a bit of time to sort of come around to go “well okay, my youngest is now going to be going off to primary school, what am I going to be doing with my time and what do I want my life to be about outside of being a mother?”

Because you may be a mother, you might be listening to this right now, or a father, but you are so much more than that and sometimes you need to be in an environment that supports you being so much more than that.

ABOUT KIM

Kim is a wonderful mother of eight who started her journey with The Coaching Institute in 2016. Becoming a coach has allow her to reconnected with her inner self while creating the best environment for her children to grow.

Kim Harris
Kim HarrisAccredited Professional Coach