Be honest: Do you want something better for yourself?

Are you completely satisfied with your life? Pre-TCI, Matt Lavars wasn't. Nine years on, he shares a very personal story, his journey from a broken home to a life he loves.

Do you want something better for yourself?

I did. Here's how I found it.

Before I joined The Coaching Institute my life was really different from what it is and what I’ve been able to create today as a result of what I’ve learned from this school. You may not know—I’m not just a trainer, I'm a student.

I did my FOCS back in February 2012 and it completely changed my life. Before that I grew up in a town called Geelong in Victoria. My mum and dad split up when I was really young and I didn’t know how to deal with it, my only way to respond to the world was anger. I got into a lot of fights.

I took a lot of drugs. I drank a lot of alcohol. Got into trouble for stealing people’s cars. I nearly killed myself in a car accident and a motorbike accident. I had friends who went to jail, committed suicide.

(If this is resonating with you, I've got your back. And I'll be talking about these sorts of things at TCI's 'Your Coaching Success' virtual summit on December 5 and 6.)

I was moving in the wrong direction and unfortunately a lot of people experience that in life. I got to a point in life where I made a pivotal decision, looked around me and noticed everything I had: the quality of friends I had, the quality of relationships, the quality of health, the lack of career I had—and I asked myself a really important question.

I asked, ‘Do I want something better for myself?’

I asked if this was all there is. If this life was really what I wanted. And it was that idea that shifted me and I made the decision to start looking for something better. I started looking for change because I believe whatever you look for, you find.

A lot of people are focussed on looking at their problems all their life. This is what sucks, this is what is hard. Anyway, I had heaps of problems.

]y wonderful mum raised me and my two sisters as a single parent. She was on government payments, she never really had much money. Everything was a hand me down or donated. There was instability inside the family.

I had challenges but I knew I wanted to be different so instead of focussing on the problems I had, I focussed on the solutions.

As I started looking for something to be different, I started noticing people who had the success I wanted to have. I always wanted to be healthy and have functional relationships—I didn’t know the code to relationships because I’d never been taught how to do them.

And I wanted to have a great career. I saw a lot of people around me who didn’t enjoy their jobs.  They worked so they could have time off—that means there’s 48 weeks of the year you don’t enjoy.

I thought, ‘That’s a broken model, I don’t want to sign up to that, I have to find something different.’

In the beginning I didn’t know what that something different was. I tried reading books, and one changed my life: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It’s about being present and in the moment.

When I read that I started realising the thoughts I have are not me. I’m a person who is noticing them, and that was amazingly empowering to me. That was my first realisation I had choice in the way that I live my life.

Before that I didn’t know I had choice. I thought whatever happens happens.

As a result of that I started seeking more, and eventually found The Coaching Institute. I found this organisation that could teach me about me, that could teach me about my relationships, that could teach more about how to empower other people which I’ve always liked doing.

I found this place that could teach me to do what I’m doing right now—develop the skill of public speaking which by the way is not something I grew up with. It’s a skill that anyone can learn and it completely transformed my life.

As a result of coming to TCI I have learned how to grow up, how to be a good human being, how to have great relationships, how to have functionality within my life, how to create a good relationship with my health, with spirituality, with other people, and have true tangible skills to help other people find their own version of that.

And it’s something I’ll be grateful for forever. For my entire life I’ll be grateful to The Coaching Institute.

I hope that inspires you to go on your own journey to explore if coaching is something for you, if you can add value to your own life. If you think it could be, I'd love to save you a spot here for the 'Your Coaching Success' summit on December 5 and 6.

It will help you succeed as a coach. And we can talk your amazing new life!

Matt Lavars is one of Australia's leading coaches, trainers and speakers, and head facilitator at The Coaching Institute. In between mentoring thousands of coaches and leaders all around Australasia and helping others build incredible culture, Matt is passionate about fitness and music. His healthy office lunches whipped up in five minutes are the stuff of legend.

Matt Lavars
Matt LavarsThe Coaching Institute