Finding Your True Success
I had the house, the white picket fence, the dog, the husband, but I was not happy. I was always striving for someone else's version of success and I got to the point where I couldn't do it anymore.
Q. Thanks for being here now Fiona. I feel like I've known you forever, but how long have you been a student for?
Q. Success means a lot of things to different people, what does it mean for you?
For me, success is it's not one thing. I think for me, success is a wide range of things. It’s a 15-plus-year marriage, and I now have a deeper, more profound relationship with my husband. Success is, meeting my soul sister friends like through the Meta Dynamics™ Level III training, my tribe is in this community. Success for me is earning an income but not working the hundred hours I used to back in my corporate days. It’s having the flexibility that I can go, oh my daughter has an athletics carnival, great I'll reshuffle all my clients and I can be there cheering her on and I know I can take a whole day out. I've got that flexibility. I have designed my life and my business so that it works for me and my family. My daughter gets to experience me being there for her and, doing all those things that I want to do. That's why I'm a mom, you know, that's why I chose to be a mom. And I want to experience that with her, because that gives me joy. So success is being an amazing mom.
I’d love to share with you a very quick story.
Like Thursday night, late night shopping, we went, um, to buy some new clothes and, we went in H&M and I pulled up the shirt and I went, oh my gosh, yeah, no. And my daughter looked at me and she goes, mom, you'd like, look amazing in that. And I went, oh no, no. And she goes, why? And I went, well, it's like a bit young for me. And she goes, “you be, you.” It wasn't you do you, it was you be you. Like what nine-year-old says that seriously. And I’m just sitting there like, yes I’m an awesome mum! Success is also who I've become on the journey. I actually look at my reflection in the mirror and I like the person I see.
Q. I’d love to show some contrast in your life. So what was it like for you with work? What was it like in your relationship with yourself? Let's go back five years or as far as back as you need to. What was different before you did this course?
Before I did this course, I was working in corporate. I worked in mining, I’m attracted to very male-dominated, environments, climbing the corporate ladder held very high positions, earning the big bucks, you know, striving after job, title, job, title, salary.
Ticking all the boxes. I had the house, the white picket fence, the dog, the husband, but I was not happy. I went back to work soon after my daughter was born and literally we were up at the crack of dawn. She'd get breakfast on the train. She'd be dropped off at the day-care. And I would always be the last mom running to pick her up. It would be one minute to six and I'd be signing her out of the daycare.
My career I thought was the most important thing for me. I was always striving for someone else's version of success and I got to the point where I couldn't do it anymore. My husband, when I was on the other side of the country over in Perth pursuing his career and I was super mom and my daughter spent more time with the kindy and daycare moms than she did with me. It just got to that point where I had nothing left to give. I was always working on weekends and evenings. As soon as she was in bed I was back on the computer, like that's somebody else's version of success. And I thought what I did was it was successful, but like that coaching demonstration that's what I get to do now.
You know what? that, that is so much more impactful. I am making a difference in other people's lives. That's success. That lights me up. That gets me out of bed. To be able spend time with my daughter, my husband, create relationships, make friends, meet people. I am a different person, honestly.
Q.How did you make the decision to join?
The decision to join initially was very much about the skills, the tools, the models for work. I wanted to do something different. I knew I needed to change something. At ICI the models that you learn, they are some awesome tools to put in the toolkit. So for me, it was very much about how can I earn income as soon as possible, and where can I apply these tools. And I went straight into business coaching because it made sense with my background and my other qualifications and I began making money very quickly applying the tools and I had big success in those areas.
It has then taken me on the scenic route. It took me a while to realize that I needed to work on me as part of the journey and create my own definitions of success, create my own visions, my own why.
Q. I imagine that must have been very different as you started to create those changes within yourself?
There was lots of tears and temper tantrums. You wouldn't believe. But it's funny. You find the time when you get really passionate about something and all of a sudden it's not, oh, I'm gonna binge watch this new series on Netflix. No, I actually am going to study in that time. I'm not going to scroll on Facebook and live somebody else's life. I'm going to watch a training. you There’s so much time that we have available when we cut out the crap and we actually put that energy and time into those things and they're the things that'll make a difference.
Q. Did I do a coaching session with you?
Yeah, you did on Heights.
Q. Can we tell them about that? Because I was just thinking to myself, I remember you and a ladder. So in one of our advanced trainings, we learn how to do some advanced stuff it's in level three and four and one of them is you can help people let go of a phobia in about 15 to 20 minutes. It's not magic. It's just understanding the nature of our brains and how we're wired to irrational fears, which is what a phobia is. And you can help someone change it with a little bit of fun and it's, it's amazing. And so yours was Heights. What was that was like and what the outcome was?
I didn't do Heights. If I was in a building, I wouldn't look out the window.I couldn't go too close to look down. You did a phobia bust with me and, I was a bit of a stubborn student. I must say, like you earned your money that day. It's weird because I kind of, I don't understand, but I'm fine. I can climb ladders and even in the training I had a ladder in my office, which is bizarre, but I was using it to hold up a whiteboard because you improvise.
Q. So we did the intervention and then I said, is there anything you can stand on that you would've normally been afraid of. And we're doing it on zoom so there's a hundred people watching and then Fiona's like hold on. And she brings back an A-frame ladder and then climbs up the ladder and she's standing on the top of it. And we can only see her feet. And she's like, yes, it feels good. We are all clapping and celebrating and everything.
I just really want to acknowledge you for how much you've grown, and I think it's awesome that you are living your values.
Q.What would you say to someone here who's thinking about starting their journey with us?
Just do it. I know it's Nike, but seriously, just do it. Stop living life for everybody else. Live your life. Live your dream. Ignite your potential, your extraordinary. Be whoever you want to be. The tools, the skills at ICI will help you along the coaching journey, but the support and the impact that you can have to yourself, to your family, to others is immeasurable.
Seriously, what are you waiting for?