STEP ONE: THE MAGICAL WORD
Clarify the two boundaries you are choosing or not choosing to set inside your life.
The first one is the conversational boundaries, which boils down to what you will or won’t talk about with someone else. Someone in the street asks you how much money you have in the bank, you don’t have to tell them. Your brother asks at a family barbecue what’s going on with your partner. You can say, “I don’t want to talk about that, let’s talk about something else.”
There’s this magical word: No.
When we start saying no the things that don’t serve us, we start creating space for the things that do. It’s an energy maintenance thing. If you’re having a conversation with someone and they’re zapping your energy, say, ‘I don’t want to get into this.’
That would be setting a boundary. You’re choosing how you manage your own sense of aliveness and wellness.
The second type of boundary is physical. Assuming there’s no COVID-19 protocols, someone might try to railroad you into a hug: “I’m a hugger.” They can knock themselves out (confession; I’m one of them) but if you’re not up for it, offer a handshake or a fist bump.
Boundaries are about working out what people including yourself need, then respecting that.