Why do we self sabotage and how can we change it? First of all let us define self sabotage:
"You set a goal yourself and then just before you achieve it you actually sabotage your own success you get sick or you just mess it up in some way shape or form"
A good example of this is through the concept of yo-yo dieting where a person puts in huge amounts of effort to lose weight but puts it back on, then loses it, then puts it back. You see where I'm going with this? Self sabotage is not an unique thing, no we all experience it at some point in our lives.
Why does it happen?
Well we have this thing that we call self image, imagine that in your mind you have a mental picture of who you think you are and then you have who you truly are on the outside, and it is true that most people are not in touch with their true selves. Instead they get stuck inside their heads and focusing solely on their self image. Our self image focuses on "who we think we need to be". Who we need to be to be loved by others, admired by others or simply to be accepted.
Self image starts being developed at a young age especially prevalent in the ages of 0-7yrs, so many big moments happen in a life filled with these markers that develop questions about oneself. Continuously asking what does that say about me? We start making these huge generalizations and assumptions about ourselves and who we really are. This all forms our self image.
For example you become a person who sets a goal and maybe that goal is larger than your self image or your identity confirms that "you're someone who has to be there for everyone else but you can't put yourself first." This then forces you to create a goal that requires you to put yourself first where you now have to self sabotage; and unconsciously there is a part of you rejecting the idea firmly saying nope. The goal is out of alignment with who you truly are. There is good news.
The self image we have is just a story we tell ourselves, its not really who we are; we are in fact always far more greater than the idea that we have of ourselves and we can change that story.
Here are some things you can do to make that change straight away, it is a start to changing your self image and retelling your story. It is all about welcoming success into your life and when you experience the full spectrum of success, savor and allow it to stay in your body.
It is very common for a person who experiences success to minimize that success. Even if that person has just accomplished their first talk as a public speaker or they have just completed their first coaching session as a new coach. They are super excited about it but when some one says that they are amazing they go "Oh yeah I'm not that amazing it was just my first one".