How to be the Best Leader?
It starts with you
Leadership is an inside job...what does that mean?
It means that leadership really starts with you. It starts with who you are and who you are being. People confuse leadership with management.
Leadership cannot be executed with questions such as How do I manage you to get things done so that we can do it the same way tomorrow? It shouldn’t be about the task and tick boxes. It must be about what we want to achieve in the end of the day and what are we fighting for?
We need to ask ourselves the question that Why are we here? What is the purpose of the day?
"The purpose of the day doesn’t have to be super complex for example it can be as simple as to learn, grow, expand, experience more joy in our lives, experience more connection or to love."
A lot of people live as per the list of things they need to complete at a time not thinking about the outcome. The mindset of business and rushing around permits them from having time and caring for themselves.
Also, unfortunately sometimes a massive life crisis makes them realise that they need to slow down and rethink their life goals, do something better and make a difference. Ask yourself What is the experience you want to have today? What do you stand for? What are you living for? This is how the leaders you admire live to inspire you.
“People won't remember what you did they will remember how you made them feel”
It's all about the presence we create. The leaders have inspired me, it's because of their nature. It's because of how they stood in their power, but they also stood inside their compassion. Furthermore, they stood in their strength but they also took action while being kind. These qualities are attractive to me. I wonder if I could develop these qualities in myself.
I have recently stepped into fatherhood for the first time, which is an amazing thing for me. And so it really is landing even more that it's not just about what I do or the amount of money in my bank account. Sure, which is important, but it doesn't define who I am. It's about who I am as a person.
What is the relationship you have with yourself?
Have you ever felt that you are great at solving other people’s problems and you are a great leader to other people but If you talk to people the way you talk to yourself they wouldn’t stick around?
Unfortunately, that is how the majority of people feel. It is sad how many of us have been through a situation where we have learned how to treat ourselves the way others treated us.
The good news is we can change it. We can learn to develop a relationship that is compassionate with ourselves instead of asking and questioning our abilities or saying why aren’t I good enough? It is always possible to rewrite the way we connect with ourselves.
“The secret to being an outstanding leader is to develop a life of self-love and self-compassion.”
Leadership is an inside job...what does that mean?
It means that leadership really starts with you. It starts with who you are and who you are being. People confuse leadership with management.
Leadership cannot be executed with questions such as How do I manage you to get things done so that we can do it the same way tomorrow? It shouldn’t be about the task and tick boxes. It must be about what we want to achieve in the end of the day and what are we fighting for?
We need to ask ourselves the question that Why are we here? What is the purpose of the day?
"The purpose of the day doesn’t have to be super complex for example it can be as simple as to learn, grow, expand, experience more joy in our lives, experience more connection or to love."
A lot of people live as per the list of things they need to complete at a time not thinking about the outcome. The mindset of business and rushing around permits them from having time and caring for themselves.
Also, unfortunately sometimes a massive life crisis makes them realise that they need to slow down and rethink their life goals, do something better and make a difference. Ask yourself What is the experience you want to have today? What do you stand for? What are you living for? This is how the leaders you admire live to inspire you.
“People won't remember what you did they will remember how you made them feel”
It's all about the presence we create. The leaders have inspired me, it's because of their nature. It's because of how they stood in their power, but they also stood inside their compassion. Furthermore, they stood in their strength but they also took action while being kind. These qualities are attractive to me. I wonder if I could develop these qualities in myself.
I have recently stepped into fatherhood for the first time, which is an amazing thing for me. And so it really is landing even more that it's not just about what I do or the amount of money in my bank account. Sure, which is important, but it doesn't define who I am. It's about who I am as a person.
What is the relationship you have with yourself?
Have you ever felt that you are great at solving other people’s problems and you are a great leader to other people but If you talk to people the way you talk to yourself they wouldn’t stick around?
Unfortunately, that is how the majority of people feel. It is sad how many of us have been through a situation where we have learned how to treat ourselves the way others treated us.
The good news is we can change it. We can learn to develop a relationship that is compassionate with ourselves instead of asking and questioning our abilities or saying why aren’t I good enough? It is always possible to rewrite the way we connect with ourselves.
“The secret to being an outstanding leader is to develop a life of self-love and self-compassion.”
Self Leadership
The reason why self-leadership is really significant is because of the next thing that really matters in all of our lives, our relationships. And learning how to have great relationships is one of the foundations of self-leadership.
There has been a study that's been done where they looked at what's called meaning in life. It was a study that's been done for over 70 years. What they found was the number one thing that determined the quality of meaning in life is the quality of relationships. The fact is we can only love people, the amount that we can love ourselves. We can only truly allow love in, the amount that we're willing to give it to other people and to give it to ourselves.
“Quality of meaning in life is quality of relationships”
The foundation of personal responsibility and leadership is the relationship you have with yourself. There is definitely not just one solution I could give to you today. But what I can promise is the journey of knowledge and education that will help you grow as a leader.
When we start to learn how to build quality relationships, we start with ourselves and then we go to others. We start to feel like we belong in this world and this is what we are craving for belongingness and connections.
It is not going to simply knock on your door. You need to recognise opportunities and embrace and drive innovations and improvements. It comes along when you decide to start doing the work.
“Become someone who can stand in their own personal empowerment and a demonstration of how we can live. That's true leadership.”
We are sure you are extremely capable, passionate, and driven to be the best leader and start your journey of self-love and acceptance.
MATT LAVARS
One of Australia's leading coaches, trainers and speakers, and head facilitator at The Coaching Institute. In between mentoring thousands of coaches and leaders all around Australasia and helping others build incredible culture, Matt is passionate about fitness and music. His healthy office lunches whipped up in five minutes are the stuff of legend
