Someone who has a better relationship with fear maybe still feels it but can keep moving on through life. They are able to make functional decisions and not let fear take over their life.
When we have a bad relationship with fear, fear takes us over. If you’ve ever been in a situation where that happens, you’ll know it takes over your thinking and powers of conscious decision making.
It’s the opposite when you have a positive relationship with fear: you feel the fear and do it anyway (which is the name of Susan Jeffers’ great book.)
So how do we build up a relationship with fear?
We have to start with small things. It starts with consciously choosing to do things we feel fear around.
It could be anything—you’ll know. Maybe it’s running five kms in a fun run. Maybe it’s telling someone you love them or that you’ve stopped loving them. Whatever it is, step into it and start to breathe deeply while you feel the fear and take action.
The breath will calm you and give a fast rush of oxygen to your blood that goes around your body.
The aim is to be able to feel fear and not be afraid of it. I want to you read that again and understand it—as long as you are able to feel the fear and not be afraid of it, you are able to do the things you’re afraid of.
You can feel the fear and manage yourself and make really great decisions.
So a relationship with fear is by far one of the most important things we have to cultivate and evolve into. It’s outside our comfort zone, so it can mean uncertainty and we normally respond with anxiety, trepidation.
Acknowledge that then breathe and move towards it. Do things you normally wouldn’t do. One small step every day.
Then you can have a great relationship with fear because you can make decisions based not on moving away from your fear but towards your potential.
I’ll be talking about this and other wonderful coaching tools you can use in your life and share with others at the two live day 'Your Coaching Success' summit. Be brave—book your spot here. I'd love to see you there.