How to Save Your Relationship During Coronavirus
How couples living and working together can keep feeling the love
Suddenly, couples with a regular 'see you after work' routine find themselves not just living together but also working on top of each other. Here's what you need to know about saving your marriage during coronavirus.
We're able to do this in quite a functional way. If this was a couple of years ago, I don't think I'd be able to do it in such a great way.
A healthy relationship needs two dynamics: closeness and space.
A lot of people feel shame or guilt around one of those things. A lot of people when they get too close, they don't really like it, so once they're a little too close they start rebelling or starting to argue. So too much closeness can be anxiety producing for some people.
Another common dynamic is when one one person is really comfortable spending a lot of time away and their partner has lots of anxiety around the other person leaving
When you live and work with someone, pretty much all you have is closeness, although you can screw that up by starting to withdraw. You don't really talk to each other anymore, you stop being honest.
When they say, 'What's wrong?' and you say 'Nothing', but you're actually pissed off.
Is this ticking any boxes with you about saving your marriage during coronavirus?
My partner and I live and work together successfully by having "a time of closeness" at least once a day. We turn off the TV and chat about what's going on in each other's lives, or what each needs.
We're ticking a box of closeness.
Then we have time apart. We make music in different rooms, she phones her mother, I do my own thing. And both are okay with it.
So don't feel guilty about watching what you want on Netflix while your partner is learning a new language online or perfecting their virtual golf swing.
One key to saving your marriage during coronavirus is talking. It doesn't have to be serious. Have a laugh. Be silly. But also make sure you know how to ask for what you want.
A lot of people don't do this so it's something that is really important to navigate with your partner.
Good luck creating the space that’s really going to give you space and light you up and keep you motivated.
MATT LAVARS
One of Australia's leading coaches, trainers and speakers, and head facilitator at The Coaching Institute. In between mentoring thousands of coaches and leaders all around Australasia and helping others build incredible culture, Matt is passionate about fitness and music. His healthy office lunches whipped up in five minutes are the stuff of legend
