I was crippled with anxiety and I hated how much control that had over my life. Because I felt like it was a state I was stuck in. Everyone around me was constantly anxious and so much passive aggression and it was really affecting my relationship with my husband and I don't like myself like this and wanted to learn and discover more about myself. I had to make that decision.
Taking this decision with the help of the abundant support of the team back at TCI is the biggest and most important decision I made in my life. I was tunnel visioned. Before making the decision to finally do something for myself, I was flooded with anxiety, I was shaking violently, my heart was beating so hard from my chest. I knew I had to do it, it was a massive calling for me. I knew if in this moment I don't commit to myself, nothing is going to change, like this was the moment.
I fought for it as well. Because I wanted to be better, I wanted to feel better, I wanna stop feeling like shit, like I know I can...Just that, just felt so right. It was the biggest decision in my life. So many different life coaching courses which certainly help you find your true self and make your realize how much you matter.
"I have no regrets, and have learnt so much about myself"
Something that was key for me that came up a few months ago was, learning that I still was running away from certain emotions. From the career I've chosen to go into, had become another form of avoidance. Learning that, has allowed me to find the passion in that again without running away from stuff that I felt like I couldn't handle. So now, I'm no longer running my body down to the ground. It feels really good, I'm no longer burning out for which I am so thankful to the TCI and their life coaching training.
With anger and sadness, for example if I was to be confronted and have an argument and I was getting triggered, all I wanted to do was run away. So I remember really vividly a specific example I felt this rage build inside, but I felt like I couldn't express it because I was thinking "Are they gonna hate me? Are they gonna leave me?" all I wanted to do was run away. The first thing I wanted to do was go for a run and avoid it.
This was before I knew that anger is actually a powerful thing, now I say that anger is my power, now I can accept it and feel it without the need to go for a run and avoid it, but have the freedom to run without the attachment of the emotion. Because if I hung onto the anger, the anger would still be there and would come back up weeks or months later, it'd become this constant buried grudge. The life coaching training at the TCI from Australia's most successful coaches really helped my channelize my anger and make it an advantage for me. I learnt about myself. I learnt about how it was okay to feel insecure and anxious. But the most important thing I learnt was how to fight it and not run away from it, which was one of my traits before this decision.
I can really sit with myself which is huge. My previous pattern was to not having the emotional intimacy it's been distracted, do things, busy, busy, busy. Now, I actually have the patience and compassion to actually sit with myself and be with my feelings. Like now I can be with my anxiety, I talk to myself, self soothe and just let it run which is been massive for me. This decision really changed how I look at myself as a person. Life Coaching actually made me patient and much more compassionate towards myself.
A specific example was before the program. I'm currently a avid obstacle racer and so I recently did a Sparta Ultra and another one last year. The one I did last year, I had a lot of anxiety coming up, a lot of fear, a lot of worry. I actually had a panic attack on course, I didn't finish it. And the one I did recently, I finished it and smashed my time and I just allowed my emotions to come and go, like I didn't go into my head about it. This just shows that how one right decision, one courageous step can change your life forever.
I took the Your Ultimate Self training course and I feel amazing about it. I feel self trust and self pride. I also feel so much self-belief that, you know what I can actually handle whatever challenges come and handle it on my own. Now I know whatever emotion that comes up, I know that it's not going to hang there, it'll pass and actually now some emotions now I use now to me benefits. For example, I'd use functional anger if I need strength for assertiveness or confidence.
"If you feel that beat in your heart, that is signalling for you to do this...Do it, no hesitation it has made the biggest difference in my life, and I know it will make the biggest difference in your life."
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