So one of the beautiful practices we can bring into our life to deepen our own relationships with our self acceptance and self love is forgiveness.
LET IT GO!
Forgiveness is another thing I used to get wrong.
I used to think it was something to use only when someone had done the wrong thing ... borrowed my car and crashed it, stood me up a couple of times.
But forgiveness is the opposite of acceptance. If I don’t forgive someone, what I’m doing it withholding love not just from them but from me too.
And that means I’m the one who loses out. I’m not open to receiving my own love.
This is a frame you can use to love yourself. Think of a person in your life and ask, ‘Is my heart open or closed to this person?’
When I first learned this I became very aware of the weight of resentment and grudges I was carrying around. I was holding onto how everyone had let me down.
It was heavy. And walking around with these massive burdens of withholding love from people meant I wasn’t giving myself love.
Here’s how I let it back in: I simply started using forgiveness. I said, ‘I forgive this person. I forgive this person. I forgive this person.’
And I let it go.
I practice this daily. I pay attention to what it feels like when my heart is open: warm, connected to other people, not overly worried about things.
When we have an open heart we see the greatness and potential in other people. And that means we see it in ourselves as well.
Loving yourself might be tricky to start with. It will move from being a challenge to a gift.
It's one I'll be handing over to anyone who books a free spot here for 'How to Become a Relationship Coach' virtual training on November 7. It's all about how we can takes these ideas and use them as tools to help people deepen their relationships with themselves and others.
I'd love to see you there!