Here's another way to look at building self esteem.
Imagine we've fast forwarded six months and the world is open for business again. The Coaching Institute is having a face to face training in Melbourne and you're coming. You ask the neighbours to look after your cat but when you get home from the weekend, they haven't done what they said they would.
The cat wasn't fed or looked after. They apologise. You accept it—but do you have the same amount of trust in them? Maybe not. But you have enough that next time you go away, you ask them again to look after the cat.
Bu-bow. Second time around, they were busy with family stuff so the cat went hungry. More trust flows out of their Trust Bank.
Then comes the clincher: your next weekend away is child free. You need someone to look after your kids. Do you ask the neighbour?
"I'm sure the answer for most people would be no," says Matt.
"Because if you or I can't take care of the little things, we can't take care of the big things."
That right there is the key to building self esteem. Go through this check list:
—The most important relationship you have is with yourself. Are you keeping the promises you make to yourself?
—If the answer is no, it's okay. Start again. We all have the opportunity to reset.
—If the answer is yes, congratulations. You already know we invest in our Trust Bank when we say we're going to do something, from washing the car to cooking dinner to studying to working out. When we don't, we erode it.
—Aim for about 90 per cent compliance because nobody's perfect. Now and again you're going to make a mistake. Just remember that saying you'll do something for yourself then not doing it is letting yourself down, even if nobody else is involved.
"I want to encourage you to start this today," says Matt.
"One of the decision making processes I make is asking, 'Is this going to move me further away or closer towards knowing myself?' If the answer is yes, I'm going to do it."