If you follow the code to getting what you want in life, when you're in a relationship and you start giving what you want, you'll receive it simply through the act of giving.
If you want more understanding, go give more understanding.
If you want more love, go give more love to people and through the act of giving, you'll receive it. Trust me.
A lot of people never experience what they want in life, and it's because they're thinking about this the wrong way. They have their arms folded, and they're wishing, waiting and hoping for the world to give them what it is they want.
Eventually they become resentful of the people around them. They start to harden up. They start to close up to others because they think people aren't kind. They think they're not loving, so they start to see the world as unkind and unloving.
Of course, the world is a kind and loving place if you make it that way, if you live your life that way.
If you can centre your life around giving and love and contribution and sharing the things you would like to receive in the world, it's like that beautiful and powerful quote from Gandhi: "Be the person you want to see in the world."
It's the only way it can work.