I started at TCI nine years ago as a student, and when I first started I had these relationship problems with my mother. I thought, ‘I want her to change’.
Then I did my own healing around it, let go of resentment and anger—and my relationship with her changed.
It’s more peaceful and loving.
Yet she hasn’t changed at all. I changed. I changed my perspective and my thinking, and when we change our perspective we open ourselves up to new experiences.
There are four major elements of coaching that we train all of our coaches in to help them go from no coaching experience to their own coaching business.
Coaching is about providing a safe space for your client where you listen to them fully. I apply this to every area of my life. I apply this to my clients but I hold it very dear and apply it too to my close and intimate relationships. I wasn’t taught this growing up. I was taught as a man to bring solutions, someone would share a challenge and I’d say, ‘Well why don’t you do this? That’s all you need to do.’ Turns out it’s an essential need for people to be heard.
The second part is the power of validation. It’s a game changer to be able to hear the words, ‘Well done, you are going great, you’re on track, that’s okay to feel like that. You are exactly where you need to be.’ Validation falls into the sub categories of encouragement and normalising things and affirming things in someone.