Is modesty eroding your self worth and limiting potential

Is modesty eroding your self worth and limiting potential?

If you're always deflecting compliments because of modesty, it could be eroding your self worth. Here's how and why to stop it and let your light shine.

Is modesty eroding your self worth and limiting potential?

How many times have you given a compliment and the person replied, "This old thing" or, "Anyone could have done it."

Every time you deflect a compliment, it erodes your self-worth and self-esteem. All that you are saying to yourself is, 'I don't deserve it.' Little by little, your star begins to dim for the sake of modesty.

When you deflect compliments, you not only dishonour yourself but rob the person giving the praise the gift of feeling good about themselves. It's a lose-lose situation, all to keep up with whatever cultural bullshit has programmed us in Australia, where the tall poppy syndrome is alive and well.

With self-confidence, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Strive to build it and chase your potential, and you might get brought down to earth really fast or keep safe by staying in the shadows.

Both are the pathway to depression and low self-esteem. Deflecting is one of the main contributors to limiting our success in life.

In Gay Hendricks' book The Big Leap, he shares a few things that contribute to our upper limit problem.

  • The crime of outshining—we don't want to outshine out tribe for fear of being ostracised.
  • Deflecting—deflecting compliments.
  • Criticise and blaming—blaming others for our problems.

When I read The Big Leap I was instantly transported back to a time where I had it all. It was five years after a car accident that nearly killed me. I had rebuilt my life and fitness, I had money again, all the cool toys, friends.

I said to myself, 'This is too good to be true.' I was in shock that I had everything I ever wanted. Then a year later I had no money—the toys were expensive and it tends to run out if you don't handle it properly—and a broken arm, and I moved away from it all to a more spiritual existence.

I had self self-sabotaged away everything that I had worked for.

I was subconsciously saying to myself, 'You don't deserve this.'

The signs were there, and I didn't listen.

Just for once, when people get a compliment I want to hear them say things which mean modesty is not eroding self worth and limiting potential:

—"Thanks for noticing. I've been at the hairdresser today, and went on a health journey to look great for this event."

—"That means a lot. I busted my arse for years and sacrificed so many things to get here to this moment."

—"You're terrific. I appreciate it so much. I have worked my way up from the bottom of this company, studying at night to get this promotion."

Please. Enough of the modesty. If you have put in effort and it's being noticed, just own it.

As Marianne Williamson put it, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

"There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. "

Let your light shine bright.

Celebrate your hard work and dedication to your craft.

Own the compliments. And honour other people by receiving them.

And unashamedly LIVE to YOUR POTENTIAL.

Daniel Burgess is a Pro Coach mentor at The Coaching Institute, and a speaker and coach. Working one-on-one, he has helped hundreds of people  develop self-belief and overcome their biggest challenges. He has coached thousands of people to rewrite their stories and chase their dreams.
There were times in Dan's life where he had to fight to survive. He has suffered horrific injuries, been jobless and homeless and had to rebuild more than once. His story is a reminder anyone can turn their life around and why he is so committed to the power of being defiant.
Daniel Burgess
Daniel BurgessThe Coaching Institute