How to deal with loneliness during social isolation
Suddenly working and living from home might make you lonely. Here's how to handle dark feelings.
Fingers crossed you're in a mindset and space where dealing with loneliness during social isolation isn't a problem you're facing.
But if you are struggling with feeling lonely and isolated, I have a solid advice to combat your isolation.
There was a study done a while back and they put the participants into a room on their own. There was a buzzer, and they were told they were going to be in a room alone, but didn't know how long for.
The people could press the buzzer if they felt lonely but were told it would give them an electric shock.
Within 15 minutes over 70 per cent of participants in the study had begun pressing the button. So this research shows 70 per cent of people would rather feel pain than to sit with themselves.
And that's the power and pain of loneliness during social isolation.
I have been there with loneliness. 17 years ago, before I became a coach, I would just have dark thoughts for days. I could 'Darth Vader' my entire life.
I would have arguments "for hours" in my head with myself over the validity of the "doom and gloom" thoughts: I'd make myself laugh but I'd also realise the nature of how little control I was demonstrating on my mind.
I finally broke the cycle by catching myself going to the dark side and replacing it with the next stage, which was productive loving.
I wrote paragraphs out of a book full of amazing ways of looking at a the world, which introduced my to accessing kind, compassionate language.
So I'd write it out and every time I went to the dark side, if I remembered to catch myself, I'd pull out my card and read it to myself.
I remember thinking, 'That's bullshit, I don't believe it, the world's not that good."
I'd try to read it again until I could read a paragraph of something kind without me arguing with it.
Affirming your own worth and that there are beautiful things and thoughts can help with loneliness during social isolation.
Other strategies also help.
Right now, I’m being productive, exercising and doings things like this video because I don't need to be consumed with how I'm filling my day.
My advice might not be helpful if you're at home with kids and craving a single moment alone.
Perhaps that needs to be another video!
She is the Founder of The Coaching Institute and through our world-class coaching training programs, best-selling books, the #Perspectives podcast, and the Ultimate You Quest movement, she helps people like you live your dream, become your most authentic self, and make a difference through meaningful action.