Coaching Tip: Are Your Clients Living at Cause or Living at Effect?

[Note: This is a special message from Sharon. Sharon's posts are usually exclusive to our members' community and she is known for her direct and no BS style. Since these posts are always an instant hit with our members, we thought you might enjoy this and find it helpful. Enjoy!]

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Can I be brutally honest with you?

It’s about what I learned in my 13+ years of coaching.

When you’re coaching and speaking, it’s important to think about the standards you set in the room before you talk about content.

Let me explain…

There is no point giving someone a cool insight or content if their thinking isn't capable of handling it.

I could say: 'We can be at cause of events that happen in our life, or we could be at effect'.

And everyone in the room would agree with me (probably! ;)) BUT... everyone will interpret this based on their own paradigm.

Some people will agree to this, and interpret it as: 'This means when things are tough, I have to blame myself.'

Some people will agree to this, and interpret it as: 'This means I am to blame for everything.'

Some people will agree to this, and interpret it as: 'This means I caused bad things to happen.'

Some people will agree to this, and interpret it as: 'This means my karma is bad/good/etc.'

Some people will agree to this, and interpret it as: 'This means I can't tell anyone when I get something 'wrong', because they'll judge me as not being at cause.'

Some people will agree to this, and interpret it as: 'I need to reframe everyone who's having a hard time until they see they are at cause.'

Some people will agree to this, and interpret it as: 'This is useful as a concept,' and then promptly forget about it and carry on like nothing happened.

Some people will agree to this, and interpret it as: 'That's true some of the time, but you don't know me or what I'm experiencing.'

Some people will agree to this, and interpret it as: 'Cool, so I can change my thinking, and that will change my results.'

And a 1,000 other interpretations. Don't assume that saying the way you intend to say something is also how it’s received. It rarely is.

And that’s what coaching is about.

As a coach, or someone who is interested in becoming one, you calibrate, gauge and adjust based on your client’s behaviour, not on their agreement.

I’m thinking the time’s right for you.

Yes?

Rock on.

Sharon