How To Look Inside And Love What You See

Remi Pearson shares how her own journey evolved from chasing the external indicators of success to turning inwards and acknowledging the truth and facing what was really going on.

The keys to knowing how to look inside and love what you see are familiar to me.

I've been there. The lies, the rejection, the sabotage, the cycles, the conditioning … all of it was crippling and it wasn’t working. It could never work. How could it?

This is how the inner journey began for me, and what I had to heal and reclaim to move to living a truly awesome life while building The Coaching Institute, and writing internationally bestselling books including Ultimate You.


It’s one thing to have success in the form of an awesome job or business, flash car, magnificent house, abundance of money, fame, and another thing to feel fulfilled, living a life of meaning, leaving a legacy for future generations and contributing the world.

My own journey evolved from chasing the external indicators of success, to turning inwards and acknowledging the truth and facing what was really going on.

Because with the inner world in unaddressed and unacknowledged turmoil, no goal set or success achieved will ever truly bring the joy we are seeking. Goals made from the pain and shame of our conditioning will only ever act as a blanket to wrap our pain in … 'If I can achieve success I can feel good about being me.'

Ultimate You explores how many of us were raised with our 'Magical big people' (our caregivers) teaching us their version or aversion of success.

Any of these sound familiar? Successful people are money hungry arrogant people. Our family don’t like to stand out and rock any boats. We just aren’t smart enough for that. Know your place in the world,

Remi Pearson Anglesea 2020

How can you look inside and love what you see?


Few of us make it through our childhoods unscathed. Most of us have been conditioned to believe in generations of family beliefs and our role in it all.

The role we adopt becomes the mask we wear and the filter through which we think and make our decisions.

Our conditioning becomes the crud and the crust that encases the core of our being. It’s thick and it’s heavy and it does not feel good. It’s hard to feel okay with the weight of the world on our shoulders.

We’ve had so much practice feeling the way we feel that we don’t even notice how not okay we are really feeling. And we avoid feeling our feelings in case the flood gates open and we don’t know how to close them again.

So most of us get busy with our version of success while ignoring what’s screaming out on the inside, desperate to be heard.


So how can you look inside and love what you see? How do we break through this crud and crust and get to the core of our being so we can experience being connected to who we truly are, to be our Ultimate You?

How do we:

  • Listen to our own voice and not the voice of our conditioning?
  • Feel our feelings so we can heal them?
  • Begin to feel okay?
  • Look inside and love what we see?

None of it is possible without vulnerability. We must embrace our vulnerability in order to do what it takes to remove the mask we carry and to undo what we learned was needed to keep us safe and stay in the shame.

It takes genuine effort on our own part to challenge our self with the truths we need to explore. It’s so much easier to stay on the same track and not mess up the landscape.

An excerpt from Ultimate You:

“You are awesome. You have the power to choose how you respond to life, your thoughts, your perceptions and your actions. You can, whenever you want, give yourself honest appraisal about how you’re doing and where you need to lift your game. You are capable of committing to yourself and to Your Awesome Life. You’re the catalyst for the change you want to see in your life.

Regardless of whatever flaws you have, you are free, right now, to embrace life.

You live life knowing that your full participation will resolve much of what bothers you.

You make mistakes. You learn. You grow. In fact, you know that yo grow the mistakes are inevitable and required. You feel freedom within you because you can take on new challenges knowing you can handle whatever comes along.

And no one has to change for you to live your life.”


She is the Founder of The Coaching Institute and through our world-class coaching training programs, best-selling books, the #Perspectives podcast, and the Ultimate You Quest movement, she helps people like you live your dream, become your most authentic self, and make a difference through meaningful action.

Remi Pearson
REMI PEARSONThe Coaching Institute