Most of us know the importance of forgiving and letting go. The bigger question is, how? For that, let’s first explore what forgiveness is not.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you don’t have any feelings about the person who wronged you or the situation. It’s not about forgetting what happened. You don’t even have to let the other person know they are forgiven.
True forgiveness is accepting what happened and finding a way to live with it. It is a state of resolution. You forgive for you – not for anyone else.
So why is forgiving so darn hard? Most people are addicted to drama, and drama can play out resourcefully or un-resourcefully.
Anger, for example, is drama gone unresourceful. It generates a shot of adrenaline which is addictive. That said, you cannot forgive unless you’ve fully identified and felt your pain, anger or whatever emotion you’re going through.
Because forgiveness is gradual, this won’t happen in a day. When you’re ready, forgiveness will put a seal on your hurt.
You’ll still remember what happened, but you won’t be restricted by it. And that is a big sign of demonstrating courage.