I can remember my dad saying when I was young, “Tone it down, Sharon.” I felt such resentment when I was told this because I felt I was just being myself. I know for years after, when I was told this by someone, I would feel uptight, resentful, and rejected.
If you find yourself always going back to events from your past and feeling negative emotions when you do, this is also emotional reactivity. The goal is to be able to visit any experience from your past and be neutral about it, or better yet, not feel the need to visit it except to use it to draw on what you’ve learned so that you may improve the experience of this moment.
If you feel emotional reactivity around too many things, or too often, or if you think you’re super-sensitive to what you perceive as criticism, even when someone simply doesn’t agree with you, then your ability to move forward, build rewarding relationships, feel joy, and express spontaneity is going to be hijacked.