7 years ago I was lucky enough to have my life, as I knew it, fall apart. I was in Dublin, miserable, ashamed and depressed. I spent months in what I titled “The Depression Bed,” taking my mum and brothers’ arrival to get me out. The year that followed was dramatic; the stuff movies are made of. I was a victim of my circumstance and I loved it. Fast forward a year to my now picture perfect life, sitting on the front steps of my house I had my last panic attack. If I thought I was at rock bottom before, I was wrong because here she was, knocking down the door, dragging me to the bottom of the well.
It was here, that I realised, the only way out, was up.
And so it began… my journey of personal development.
In those early days I set my definition of success and set about doing everything I could to achieve it. I was a coach who defined herself as “I help women live their happiest lives yet” It was all about “you” and I hated it, every second. I felt a heaviness and burden and I knew “you” could too.
Success, at least the version I had created, sucked, and something had to change, and it did, I changed my version of success.
Success is now all about being the best, most present and authentic version of myself I can be. My website, The Happy Hotline has become a space of self-expression where I share stories of my experiences and insights. With every post, I develop a deeper relationship with vulnerability and in turn, myself. I am humbly realising that all those years spent taking myself so seriously, perfecting, avoiding and copping out, where holding me back from real success and myself.
In this space of allowing myself to “be,” I admitted my greatest love is writing. I had kept it secret and hidden from the world and myself for so long and when I did participate, I played it down and even insulted it. I was ashamed of what brought me the most joy in my life and it was exhausting.
So finally, I let go.
Today, I write every day, publicly and privately. I share my life on “The Happy Hotline,” my creative writing on “I’ll Write the Words if you Sing the Tune,” my passion for food on “Project Mac & Cheese” - which I am also turning into a recipe book and maybe even a food truck- life essays in a book titled, “What I know for Sure, For Now,” and last and certainly not least, a screenplay, “Promise you’ll Write,” based on those earlier years I mentioned at the start.
My name is Anna Saywell, I am successful, I am a writer.