I’m often drawn into conversations with coaches who want to know ‘what I did’ to become successful in this industry.
The question is enthusiastically and well-intended. The question is also flawed.
To ask what I did is to make assumptions about who I am, what I’m capable of and what I’m willing to do.
Perhaps what I did is based on who I am, and my background and experience (and lack of it!), and thus is a terrible thing to do for anyone else.
Perhaps what I did is now considered so old fashioned that no one would do it.
Perhaps knowing my actions is only one quarter of the picture. And that to model what I did would require knowing the full picture, not just the one quarter the questioner seeks.
When I model someone, I am looking at what they’re doing. But I’m looking beyond that, to see the full, four dimensional perspective of them. I don’t act on what I learn, until I see all four parts.
My modelling of someone involves studying:
What their thinking is, including:
How they structure their actions, including:
What they do, including:
Who they involve in the strategy, including:
When I’m asked: ‘What did you do?’ I want to give all this information, but I notice for most people, they aren’t interested in what seems to them to be peripheral to the ‘main game’ of action.
Yet, I know my success is based on all four dimensions (Meta Dynamics Frame), and not any one of them.
I would not have succeeded in this industry if I had limited my focus simply and solely to action.
Yet, still… My answer is unfulfilling to most people when I attempt to give the mindset of my actions.
Success belongs to a small percentage of people, and I believe this is why.
Most people are concerned with the day to day of doing. They don’t see, or appreciate that one action can be done millions of different ways, depending on the thinking brought to it.
You can call a client, and follow the script. Or you can call a client, and listen to them and hear a way to help them. You can call a client, and tick the box that you’ve ‘done your job’, or you can call a client and really dig chatting with them and make their day.
My answer to the question, ‘what did you do?’ would include that I called clients and chatted with them. But that doesn’t begin to cover what I ‘did’.
I understood them. I put their needs ahead of my own. I thought of ways to wow them. I obsessed about how to serve them and remind them how being my client really mattered.
And none of this was something I would ever write down. It’s my attitude and it’s in me to be that way. It’s a not a list of ‘tasks’. ‘Wow client: tick’. That would suck!
When we consider each action from a Meta Dynamics perspective, we get a much clearer idea of what’s actually needed to succeed. No wonder so few people achieve what they set out to do – they have one quarter of the strategy for success, and just keep doing that, over and over, and wonder why it’s not happening!
Success does leave clues. It’s possible for anyone who has the willingness and ability to learn all four dimensions.
If you enjoyed this article you can read more in the May edition of The Successful Coach Magazine